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Discussion Lizerd’s children’s books.

Discussion in 'Fluff and Stories' started by Lizerd, May 31, 2019.

  1. Lord Agragax of Lunaxoatl
    Slann

    Lord Agragax of Lunaxoatl Eleventh Spawning

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    Join the club - I'm 20 (soon to be 21), yet have never allowed a drop of alcohol to pass my lips. It's nothing to be ashamed about.
     
  2. Vedras
    Chameleon Skink

    Vedras Well-Known Member

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    Definitely not. 33 here, got drunk once (went a bit too far admittedly) then decided never to touch it again. It's expensive as well to be honest.
     
  3. Scalenex
    Slann

    Scalenex Keeper of the Indexes Staff Member

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    I was law abiding and did not drink until my 21st birthday as well. Probably a good thing. People in their early twenties are not paragons of restraint but I don't believe teenagers show restraint at all.
     
  4. Lizerd
    Skink Priest

    Lizerd Well-Known Member

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    Alright, I think I have a good amount of material to work with here, not going to release many spoilers here, but there is going to be a lot of regret in the end of it, and maybe a massive wreck or two :D

    Thanks for all the stuff, while not many symptoms are detailed I have seen some of the Simpson’s with homer getting drunk
     
  5. GreenyRepublic
    Temple Guard

    GreenyRepublic Well-Known Member

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    Also a proud member of the teetotaller gang (tm)
     
  6. Killer Angel
    Slann

    Killer Angel Prophet of the Stars Staff Member

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    Well, i like to drink, but to enjoy small tastes and to lose your mind while drinking... are totally different things..
    I could describe the very first steps of getting high, but no more than that.
     
    Lizerd likes this.
  7. Dracorex
    Cold One

    Dracorex Well-Known Member

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    "Just remember to apply two thin coats of sacred evisceration" - Duncan Rhodes
    That would be a great paint name now that I think of it. Almost as good as "incomprehensible lime".
    Edit: Changed my mind. It's now "Too Evil To Even Comprehend Off-Yellow"
     
  8. Dracorex
    Cold One

    Dracorex Well-Known Member

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    It's easy to imagine that there is some Lustrian jungle plant that produces fruit that would make a Bastiladon drunk.
    It's easy to imagine that there is some Lustrian jungle plant that produces fruit that would make a Bastiladon drunk. Maybe that's what they feed them before sending them into battle(this probably wouldn't be good if it has a solar engine, but at least you have an excuse whenever you roll badly):D
     
  9. Lizerd
    Skink Priest

    Lizerd Well-Known Member

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    Easily, if berries are plentiful some slightly older ones can cause symptoms of alcohol to be present in the animal consuming them, hence the legend of the drunk moose, and also soon to be followed by the drunk bastiladon :D
     
  10. Dracorex
    Cold One

    Dracorex Well-Known Member

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    The drunk bastiladon stuck in a tree.:hilarious:
     
  11. Lizerd
    Skink Priest

    Lizerd Well-Known Member

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    Alright here it is:
    The Very Hungover Bastiladon


    “This is why I like carnosaurs” Kroq-Gar

    “We have no idea how this happened” the skink handlers

    “They are smarter than we thought” Ikit Claw


    In the dense jungles of lustria wild berries were in full bloom. While the carnosaurs and coldones as well as the other carnivorous denizens of the jungle didn’t give a damn, the herbivores were all over the berries. Everyone, except for a certain bastiladon. He was deep asleep after butchering skaven, and was understandably tired, so when he woke up most of the berries were gone. All of them, except for the partially fermented ones on the ground. The cogs of the bastiladon’s brain were turning.


    He decided a few would do, he wouldn’t over do it. So he ate a few, and his vision got a bit blurry, but it was okay so he ate a few more, and a few more, until finally, his vision blurry and mind a jumble he forgot how many berries he could eat, and so he consumed them in huge amounts before drunkenly waddling home to his pen. He woke up to some very interesting news.


    A skink was announcing horrific tales, in a high chittering voice that hurt the hungover bastiladon’s head. A sacred alter had been smashed, while sacred plaques now had crude graffiti saying something about a carnosaur’s mother, and the culprit was identified, an extremely drunk bastiladon in a tree. It took the skinks 5 hours to remove the bastiladon and set it free, and the story would be told for decades to come. The damage was extremely extensive and months would be needed to repair it. His skink handlers were giving him dirty looks, and the hungover bastiladon really had no idea what he did last night…


    With reviews!

    “Great, the bloods gone but you had to get a drunk animal?” Literary critics

    “Alcohol sounds fun!” Todd, 4 years old

    “My turn!” A ripperdactyl
     
  12. Vedras
    Chameleon Skink

    Vedras Well-Known Member

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    I loved reading that, thank you @Lizerd ! There wasn't need of going in to a lot of detail on the "drunk" thing, which you decided to keep very general and that worked well. It brings a confused smile to my face when I try to imagine a drunk Bastiladon in a tree and how he got there :)
     
  13. Lord Agragax of Lunaxoatl
    Slann

    Lord Agragax of Lunaxoatl Eleventh Spawning

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    Never mind how he got in the tree - how on earth did he write the graffiti about the Carnosaur's mother? ;)
     
    Dracorex, Scalenex, Aginor and 3 others like this.
  14. Vedras
    Chameleon Skink

    Vedras Well-Known Member

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    Hahahahahah how indeed!. Do you think he may have laser-etched it? ;)
     
  15. Lizerd
    Skink Priest

    Lizerd Well-Known Member

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    Beats me, but that Bastiladon is in deep trouble :D
     
  16. Aginor
    Slann

    Aginor Fifth Spawning Staff Member

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    Hahaha awesome! :D
     
  17. Dracorex
    Cold One

    Dracorex Well-Known Member

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    He replaced the solar engine with a giant airbrush. Sacred evisceration is IMPOSSIBLE to wash off. That’s why it took months to repair the damage. :D
     
  18. Dracorex
    Cold One

    Dracorex Well-Known Member

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    “Now that’s a lotta’ damage!” - Phil Swift
     
  19. DeathBringer125
    Carnasaur

    DeathBringer125 Well-Known Member

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    Don't know if this is to ridiculous but The Stega who loved Sega. (Video games playing stegadon)
     
  20. Lizerd
    Skink Priest

    Lizerd Well-Known Member

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    Not a bad idea, but it’s going to be a few days until I can do more as school started again :(
     
    Paradoxical Pacifism likes this.

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