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Contest Jan-Feb 2016 Contest: Everyone's a winner but one of you won the most

Discussion in 'Fluff and Stories' started by Scalenex, Mar 3, 2016.

  1. Scalenex
    Slann

    Scalenex Keeper of the Indexes Staff Member

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    The tie is broken and "Loom and Threshold" has the most votes. Congratulations and thanks to everyone who cooperated in yet another awesome short story contest. Slanputin may choose the theme for the April-May 2016 Contest if he wants to. If he doesn't want to pick theme he can pass the prize passes to thedarkfourth. If neither wants to pick theme it looks like I'll have to whitewash Aunt Patty's myself.

    Not that anyone is clamoring for the Scalenex Cup. I bestow the Scalenex Cup upon Bowser for brutally killing all for developing diverse relate-able characters and then brutally murdering them.


    Story One “The Fractured Line” by @Y'ttar Scaletail

    Story Two “Out of Formation” by @spawning of Bob

    Story Three “A Day in the Life of the Temple City” by @Essmir

    Story Four “Blasphemy” by @thedarkfourth

    Story Five “The Seraphon Legend” by @Bowser

    Story Six “The Loom at the Threshold” by @Slanputin

    Story Seven “Changing Times” by @Xholankha the lost one

    Story Eight “Sunblood” by @Oldblood Itzahuan

    Story Nine “Certainty” by @discomute

    Story Ten “The Monument” by @pendrake

    Story Eleven “Sun Turns the Gears of War” by @Tlac'Natai the Observer

    I hope to see everyone write more for Lustria-Online, contests and otherwise.
     
    Last edited: Mar 3, 2016
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  2. thedarkfourth
    Kroxigor

    thedarkfourth Well-Known Member

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    Massive congrats! I'd just like to say that while the winning story was not among my favourites (the conflict needs to be dramatised, not debated!), I am in general a huge fan of its author (one of about 4 I guessed right) and I think Slanputin is very deserving of this titanic honour. While, like Bob, I love the Poneextlan/Dust Bowl and other ongoing stories, for me by far and away the best of these is Lord Xhaltan. Also I loved Slanputin’s criminally under-voted entry in July-August (“New Nature”), so this makes up for that. (although of course I am sad we missed out on a duel to the death)

    I really thought there were no weak entries - it was a great contest to read and dissect! The spread of votes reflects this. For the record, my favourite was A Fracturing Line and I’m glad it got more votes at the end...even if it was authored by a diabolical ratman.
     
  3. Bowser
    Slann

    Bowser Third Spawning

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    Ah yes! This is even better than the time I won the special cup at rainbow road!

    Congrats to @Slanputin for his big when and to everyone else who entertained us with their brilliant stories. Great competition, I am looking forward to the next one!
     
  4. thedarkfourth
    Kroxigor

    thedarkfourth Well-Known Member

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    It's just such a beautiful sentence.

    Another great sentence. But...pretty sure Bob comes before me. And I doubt he'll have ANY trouble picking themes. :D
     
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  5. Slanputin
    Carnasaur

    Slanputin Well-Known Member

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    Eee. I really didn't expect that my story be that popular. I do feel a little a cheeky as I went over the word limit (I guess that makes me dishonorable?) - given that one of the main critiques was its ploddiness, i'll endeavour to be less sloppy with my respect to word limits in the future i.e. pay attention to my word count:angelic:.

    Thanks everyone who voted and critiqued, twas surely an entertaining contest because of it :) I thought i'd gotten quite good at who wrote what, but i got most of my predictions wrong this time. Congrats to the other authors for eluding me so!


    @thedarkfourth my next story is going to be one long polemic to rival Ayn Rand or Christopher Hitchens solely concerning the favourable application if Itxi grubs. Look forward to it :D
    ps. thanks for the Lord Xhaltan plug, currently drilling myself into the next chapter!

    I'll get thinking on a suitable theme for the next contest. @Scalenex do I have a deadline?
     
  6. Bowser
    Slann

    Bowser Third Spawning

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    Just went back to read the critiques, just to read them over again, but made even better by reading people critiquing their own work. I tried to critique mine by pointing out the funny thought that got me to whip out my mobile, type up the rough draft and send it as is. Sorry @Scalenex, next time I write I will send you a second draft instead of the rough outline.
    Edit: Also it's too bad Scalenex did not enter this time. I enjoyed his reviews and was hoping to see his take on his own story. @thedarkfourth @Y'ttar Scaletail and @spawning of Bob were really interesting reads on their stories.

    Edit 2: @Slanputin still waiting on
     
    Last edited: Mar 3, 2016
  7. Y'ttar Scaletail
    Troglodon

    Y'ttar Scaletail Well-Known Member

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    Well, now I can stop pretending that the story that tried to avoid action and characters but featured an unhealthy amount of candle imagery (seriously, you can usually tell one of my pieces in something by the use of shadows, lighting, candles, or stars. :p) was mine all along.

    Wow, that was a hard compy to write for, mostly due to my unfamiliarity to lizzies. Just the nature of the saurus felt like a mountain, trying to get them to be of a very alien mind and yet still somehow relatable. The "And then change" bit I was unsure about when I submitted the piece, but I felt the sheer discordance worked better with it in rather than without.

    I think the weakest point was indeed when I really started to drift and started becoming a bit too artsy with "such sorrow" e.t.c. e.t.c. I think that was a product of too many rewrites as I wanted something reflective that would seem like an ending until the last twist.

    And @spawning of Bob: English is in fact my first language. It's just that I very purposely made the piece halting, repetitive, and yet at some points overtly 'elegant' in language. It's not really a style I try to write in (at least that much) but I figured I might as well experiment writing something with a very different feel to it in regards to flow and feeling. :p

    But enough about me.

    Many congratulations to the winners, that was some seriously good writing from everyone!

    Oh and three cheers to the competition runners, specially good ol Scalenex! *Raises mug of spawning pool water*
     
  8. thedarkfourth
    Kroxigor

    thedarkfourth Well-Known Member

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    here here!

    that would literally be the best thing I've ever heard of
     
  9. discomute
    Terradon

    discomute Well-Known Member

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    i am going to write "i am a fish" repeatedly
     
  10. thedarkfourth
    Kroxigor

    thedarkfourth Well-Known Member

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    tbh the thing I've been most looking forward to is finding out what bob's insane author-guess mumbo jumbo was all about....so....still waiting....
     
  11. Scalenex
    Slann

    Scalenex Keeper of the Indexes Staff Member

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    It actually included a typographical error but the extra "butchering" probably made it better
     
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  12. Xholankha the lost one
    Chameleon Skink

    Xholankha the lost one Well-Known Member

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    well done slannputin
    many congrats
    many choices there are hmmm?
     
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  13. Crowsfoot
    Slann

    Crowsfoot Guardian of Paints Staff Member

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    Well done guys, I didn't guess any authors correctly, some really good stories and you have inspired me to have a go at writing.


    One day Bob meet Sharon and they sat on a mat..... oh yes I'm on a roll!

    Loved every one ;)
     
  14. spawning of Bob
    Skar-Veteran

    spawning of Bob Well-Known Member

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    I was super anxious about the outcome when I was in a three way tie - and not because I don't have a theme idea. I just didn't want to win with an idea I just pulled out of my earhole one day. Or at least I didn't want to win over Slanputin, with the gobs-macking Loom.

    As for the author guesses, I made a few assumptions (which were wrong) about who had entered, which threw me off somewhat.

    But here are my cryptic lines, who and what they refer to, and the mysterious Boblogic behind them.

    He comes from empty tunnels to reveal the emptiness of form.
    My First Error - which compounded another. I thought Y'ttar / Ratty had clamped his renowned comical rat-thing claw around the throat of Cold Blooded dignity with "Blasphemy". If I had known thedarkfourth had put in an entry, I might not have been so hasty to assume that the unknown comical style came from another subversive source. Cryptic logic - the empty tunnels referred to the sadly deserted story tunnels on the UnderEmpire forum, and the emptiness of form was meant to indicate hollow religious observance. Poignant, but wrong.

    When there is no time there will be bananas
    Point. Easy Essmir wrote the lovely Day in the Life. The reference was to his fake "don't have time to enter" whine and the unfortunate crotch banana discussion from elsewhere. Ask an adult before you use the forum search tool.

    He needs no halo to show his divine mastery of the crystal fragments
    Point. Xholanka the lost one wrote a continuation of his story from last comp. Easy. Cryptic Reference - The artist formerly known as Oxytol (Now Xholankha the lost one) once famously asked for "help" but his spellcheck software substituted a plea for a "halo". The crystal fragments were in the first lines of Changing Times.

    Afterwards he will pass through the grove of fangs.
    Point. Pendrake wrote the Monument, hopefully because of the clamour for him to write more after he won a comp with Rogue Skink. Reference - the story intro and finish occur after the events in Rogue Skink, but the meat of it happens in flashback long before Rogue Skink. I am amused / amazed that various critiquers have taken a vastly different interpretation of the story away because they didn't have the context of the broader narrative. As for Fang-grove trees, and spine-burls, and harkle berries, Pendrakes signature is to include little botanical details which make his world richer without actually expending a lot of words. I have copied him over and over in my writing - including as recently as today.

    The Ancient One has placed his seal, bringing an Ixti grub to a knife fight.
    OK this only meant something on the day it was posted. It wasn't about the comp, but rather because @Crowsfoot randomly bumped the "like" button with his zimmer frame again. I was implying that geri-attic painters had no legitimate point of view in the excessively intellectual fluff forum. Even before Scalenex wielded the comic-timing-nerf bat, this made no sense. I'm not even sure that the demented senior citizen even noticed


    The Legend of the Stymphalian Bird.
    Fail. I assumed that @Hyperborean would enter, and I attributed Seraphon Legend to her. The blood spraying, head lopping and guts sizzling fun should have told me this was Bowser's. Reference - I once thought the "real stegadon" avatar was a bespectacled stymphalian bird, "bird" = "Gurl", + Legend.

    Acceptable losses - no big deal.

    Point. Discomute and Certainty. I didn't get it until a few comments pointed me in the right direction, but ambiguously evil / not evil characters are a Disco trademark. Reference - the story was the only one which was really discussed acceptable losses, and Discomute's Blood Bowl avatar proclaims that he is a Big Deal.

    Its a who? An old, blood soaked veteran with a new twinkle in his eye.
    Easy Point. Oldblood Itzahuan wrote "Sunblood". After his excellent "Ghosts we Have" last time, I had my eye out for something atmospheric, well researched and well written. Reference - read the first 6 words of the clue out loud, and the story was about an old blood who became a sparkle.

    He was weft behind when he started his cwoss stitch.
    Gimme point. Slanputin with "the Loom". No one writes mood, light and shadow like this. I affirm that this was my favourite for the sombre mood it captured. Reference - "Weft" is weaving term (? the horizontal strands/) and left behind with "Cwoss (cross) stitch" refers to his late entry last comp with "One thousand crimson crosses" which I think would have won. Deadlines and word counts are not Slanputn's strong suits.

    We drown under double-moon tides. We surface with the new wave's crest

    Fail. I was sure that Trociu would enter the comp, and by process of elimination I concluded this was his. I'm glad Y'ttar accepted as a complement my English-not-first-language comment. And by the way, I attributed "Blasphemy" to him because the humour seemed very English. England is "Old Blighty", Skavenblight means rats and why are there hairs on the bar of soap beside the spawning pool? Boblogic is impeccable.

    The Lost One
    Technical Point. I forgot to do a clue for it, but by now everyone should know that Tlac'natai knew that I knew that everyone else suspected that I had an inkling that he wrote "Sun Turns Gears of War". I enjoyed it so much that I wrote a fanfic before the voting period was up.

    7 author guesses correct out of a possible 10 (guessing my own would have been impossible - I was being too sneaky) Y'ttar and Bowser because I was expecting other authors, and TDF because there was no way he had time to write something this good :eek:. 7/10 is twice as good as usual for me.

    Conratulations to all of the worthy entrants and Y'ttar. HUGE Thanks to Scalenex for lifting his feeble hand from his death bed to click "post reply". And for helping many of the authors polish their entries so that their stories weren't obscured by a miasma of redundant apostrophes.
     
  15. Crowsfoot
    Slann

    Crowsfoot Guardian of Paints Staff Member

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    Eh!

    did I miss something?
     
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  16. Hyperborean
    Ripperdactil

    Hyperborean Well-Known Member

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  17. Y'ttar Scaletail
    Troglodon

    Y'ttar Scaletail Well-Known Member

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    Huh, I thought you'd actually got it right and were remarking about my ability to write about nothing. Given how I have a tendency to avoid action scenes and dialogue in favour of crazed descriptions and lack of plot (I might've enjoyed Harold Pinter's The Caretaker a little too much when I was younger... :p ) I do need to get back into the humour side of things though, I be getting a little too dark in my scribbles of late... :p
     
  18. thedarkfourth
    Kroxigor

    thedarkfourth Well-Known Member

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    I think the explanation has left me more confused. I love it!!
     
  19. Bowser
    Slann

    Bowser Third Spawning

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    I wish I could write something as good as in the serpent's eye by @Hyperborean so that's pretty flattering!
     
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  20. Hyperborean
    Ripperdactil

    Hyperborean Well-Known Member

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    Ah don't count yourself out there! I still got a ways to go before my stuff is realllly good
     
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