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Contest Lizardmen April Poetry Contest Voting Thread

Discussion in 'Fluff and Stories' started by SlanntaClause, May 2, 2017.

?

Please vote for your favourite 3 Poems

Poll closed May 30, 2017.
  1. Poem 1

    2 vote(s)
    11.1%
  2. Poem 2

    2 vote(s)
    11.1%
  3. Poem 3

    3 vote(s)
    16.7%
  4. Poem 4

    5 vote(s)
    27.8%
  5. Poem 5

    2 vote(s)
    11.1%
  6. Poem 6

    4 vote(s)
    22.2%
  7. Poem 7

    7 vote(s)
    38.9%
  8. Poem 8

    10 vote(s)
    55.6%
  9. Poem 9

    3 vote(s)
    16.7%
  10. Poem 10

    3 vote(s)
    16.7%
  11. Poem 11

    1 vote(s)
    5.6%
  12. Poem 12

    10 vote(s)
    55.6%
  13. Poem 13

    2 vote(s)
    11.1%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. SlanntaClause
    Carnasaur

    SlanntaClause Well-Known Member

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    Thank you all for taking part in the competition I had a lot more submissions than I was anticipating - goodluck to everyone on the voting thread. Remember poetry can be subjective so if you don't win don't be too disheartended your offerings will be read and apprechaited by the Old Ones themselves that is reward enough.

    Please read all enteries before casting your vote(s) and consider your options.


    Please feel free to use the comments thread to offer kind words to all the authors who will be revealed at the end if you have any constructive critisims or feedback I encourage you to give them or if you just want to give a shout out to your favourite work you can do so. Please be mindful though that if all you are offering is critical advice it can sometimes come across more harshly than anticipated so take your time to consider elements you'd like to praise of peoples work if you have a lot of constructive feedback.

    The poems have been numbered as some did not offer up titles perhaps this is something you can suggest to those works based on your interpretations.

    I don't envy you having to judge these they are all fantastic quality! let the judging commence!...


    Juggling Balls

    There is a Skink called Bob he went into hospital for an op.

    Bob was brave even though he was forced to shave,
    when he came round and felt all around he knew he was feeling a knob.

    Once at home he tested his bone and all is well with Bob,
    now Bob is back and being a prat to all that don't like his hat.

    By ?

    Some Rhymes With The End Times


    Proud Sauri and brave Skinks, behold!
    Take up your seats, your skin will pale
    The end of the world has been foretold!
    How will it be? I’ll tell the tale.


    The old style vampire, wreathed in blight
    Will leave its coffin near the sea
    He will prowl the Lustrian night
    But for our Basti, he’s just a flea


    Things will darken, when chaos arrives
    The daemons come! the Slaan will tell
    Skarbrand, Malekith, just one survives
    Who knows for whom will toll the bell?
    But surely, from that feast of gore
    Enemies aim at Lustria’s core.


    Then the rats, with pestilential darts
    Will spoil our sacred spawning pool
    But they cannot shake our strong hearts
    Cause the horned rat will prove a fool
    They’ll rip the sky, they’ll blast the moon
    Lord Kroak will stand, not enough soon


    Alas! magic wards are doomed to fail
    But the twinned tail will show the way
    On ancient vessels, upward we sail
    The final vengeance, we’ll have someday


    And so we say: Old World, farewell
    No one can say it hasn’t been nice
    Now, Age of Sigmar is selling well
    So for the Old Ones, let’s roll some dice!

    (The author wants you to note that it was written with the melody of the "Badnerlied" in mind - so you can read it as a poem or try sing it to that tune)



    ####################

    1:
    We come from hidden in Azyr
    Upon our enemy
    Their leaders will not know we're there
    Until their army's blood they see

    Chorus:
    So run, 'cause we're the Shadowstrike (Shadowstrike!)
    Our Masters' hidden poison spike (Masters' spike!)
    We'll wipe them out, we'll wipe them out
    We'll wipe them out, we're the Shadowstrike

    2:
    The Skinks the small ones but the fast
    They move, a sudden breeze
    The hailstorm from their boltspitters
    Brings enemies to their knees

    Repeat chorus

    3:
    The riders on their flying beasts
    Both Rippers, and Terradons
    They roar like thunder from the clouds
    Their weapons shining bronze

    Repeat chorus

    4:
    Chameleons are invisible
    They'll even hide in your plain sight
    They're patient, their bolts are venomous
    They show our Masters' might

    Repeat chorus

    5:
    Our priest will point us at the foe
    Whatever's there will quickly die
    Our attacks will hit them from all sides
    The Mortal Realms to purify

    Repeat chorus

    6:
    We fight for Order and the Slann
    The Chaos to defeat
    The Stardrake is on our side
    Our enemies will bleed

    Repeat chorus

    It was always miserable, cold and damp,

    Our city reduced to a concentration camp.

    Our mighty knights high in their saddle,

    Rode out to meet the battle,

    To keep the hordes from our city wall,

    But over time, every knight would fall.

    Even Sir Dagr, our mightiest, the great,

    Could not escape a terrifying fate.

    He rode out to battle and was met with defeat,

    I cry when I think of their chants, "Meat! Meat! MEAT!"

    Our city fell and our walls crumbled.

    Our strongest men all were humbled.

    We pray to Sigmar day and night,

    Hoping for him to give us the might,

    To match the savagery of these monstrosities,

    To make them pay for their atrocities.

    Kept like livestock to keep us fresh,

    So that they may eat our flesh.

    They’d pick us clean, right to the bone,

    Blood for the blood god, Skulls for the throne.

    They came for us led by the slaughter priest,

    Selecting victims for their ghastly feast.

    Hooting and hollering and laughing about the slaughter,

    Then one of the brutes selected my daughter.

    I pleaded and begged for them to take me in their stead,

    I was bigger, I could keep them well fed.

    They pushed me down and shoved my face in the ground,

    I prayed to Sigmar to gain strength to kill these bloodbound.

    They were kicking and punching and ready for the kill,

    When the sky darkened, and time stood still.

    I looked up to see a new daemon up in the air.

    A bulbous creature on a great stone chair.

    What new evil has now befallen our city from up high?

    It emanated godlike powers, and glowered down from the sky.

    The priest pointed at the creature and began to shout,

    But was disintegrated before he could get the second "Meat" out.

    Big tall lizards, all scales and claws,

    Had the other’s throat in their jaws.

    Then the lightning struck burning cannibals to their core,

    My prayers were answered, Sigmar sent more.

    The armored heroes, the lords of the storm,

    From the lightning Sigmar’s best took form.

    My daughter now safe, and hope in my heart,

    As I watched the Lizards and Eternals tear them apart.

    The battle ended, and down came a torrential flood,

    Washing the earth clean of all the fouled blood.

    We were free, no longer cattle,

    The heroes stayed even after the battle.

    Maybe they looked around and took pity,

    But they stuck around to help rebuild our city.

    Gigantic Lizardmen, worked ceaselessly and effortlessly moved stone,

    All directed by the godlike frog on the floating throne.

    New free people migrated in to help resettle the space,

    And once rebuilt our saviors vanished without a trace.

    Heresy of Peace

    Us lizards are just poems
    We’re ninety percent myth
    With a keenness of purpose
    Approaching hyper-distillation.
    And once upon a time
    We were moonshine
    Rushing down the throat of a stegadon
    Yes, rushing down the long hallway
    Despite what the telepathic message says
    Yes, rushing down the long hall
    Down the long stairs
    In a building so tall
    That it will always be there
    That we won’t ever care -
    It’s how we’ve always been led
    Yes, it's part of a web
    The geomantic covering
    To tuck us into bed
    On a night so beatific
    In its tropical summer breeze
    On the day that Lustria
    Fell to its knees
    After strutting around for millennia
    Without saying thank you
    Or please.

    And the shock was subsonic
    And the smoke was deafening
    Between the setup and the punch line
    Cause we were all in our right place in the battle line that day
    We all stepped into that polar gate
    And then while the fires were raging
    We all climbed the pyramid stairs
    We all held hands
    And jumped into the hate.
    And the exodus to Itza by foot and raptor
    Looked more like war than anything I’ve seen so far.
    So far
    So far

    So fierce and ingenious
    A mythic spectre
    So far gone
    That every mage priest was struck dumb
    And I'll tell you what, while we're at it
    You can keep the uncaring Old Ones
    Keep the propaganda
    Keep each and every skink priest
    That's been trying to convince me
    To participate in some amphibious punk's plan to perpetuate retribution
    Perpetuate retribution
    Even as the blue toxic smoke of our lesson in retribution
    Is still hanging like a veil
    And there's ash on our glyphs
    And there's ash on our scales
    And there's a fine silt on every plaza
    From Hexoatl to Oyxl…

    So here's a toast to all the folks that live in Bretonnia, Araby, the Badlands
    Here's a toast to the folks living in Kislev
    Under the stone cold gaze of the Wasteland
    Here's a toast to all those teachers and prophets
    Who provide lesser races with a choice
    Who stand down a threat the size of the Southlands
    Just to listen to a young woman's voice
    Here's a toast to all the folks on death row right now
    Awaiting the plunging of a sacrificial blade
    Who are shackled there with dread and can only escape into their heads
    To find peace in the form of a dream.
    Peace in the form of a dream.

    Cause take away our arcane tools
    And we are no different to Fourth race fools
    Under the thumb of some blue blood royal son
    Who stole by being born his people’s freedom
    So it's time to pick through the rubble, clean the streets
    And clear the air
    Get our rulers to get their heads out of the sand
    Out of someone else's desert
    Out of their angry and infantile Great Plan
    And quit the hypocritical chants of
    Order over Chaos.
    Both just a cage -
    But that was another age.
    Look, another window to see through
    Way up here
    On the millionth stair
    In a pyramid so tall
    That the whole world turned
    Just to watch it fall.
    Look
    Another key
    Another door
    Ten percent literal
    Ninety percent myth
    A hundred thousand some poems disguised as reptiles
    On an almost too perfect night
    Must be more than pawns
    In some offended cultist’s fight
    So now it's your job
    And it's my job
    To make it all right
    To make sure they didn't die in vain -

    Sshh.

    Baby listen
    Hear the rain?

    ***
    Adapted from Self Evident by Ani Difranco

    Contemplation

    Robbed of gods, of destiny, vengeance’s cold hand,
    The First, Itzatecah preparing to repay
    With blade and flame.

    Spawn pools roiling with nascent life.
    Waters answering the call to war,
    New life to bring death.

    Brute saurus striding in formation.
    Clubs clashing shields, roaring oaths
    Of blood to come.

    Artifacts of power hoisting into place.
    Collossi stomping and rearing, eager to charge,
    To crush and burn.

    Priest apothecaries chanting and stirring
    Venom pots ripe with potent toxins,
    With latent death

    Vials grasping eagerly, hunters keen
    To wet blow dart and javelin with poison,
    With daemon ichor.

    Heads bowed, the Lords waiting, seeking portents
    From plaques, from stars. This is contemplation
    Or indecision?

    Partial Translations from the Song of the Old Ones

    Song of the Old Ones
    Slann Chapter

    Praise be the Old Ones and all they devise

    First of the First all hail the mighty Slann

    Mighty in Magic, powerful and wise

    Upon their minds rests the Old Ones’ Great Plan

    Earth, sea, flame, sky, over all they tower

    Cold blood and warm blood, all life shall serve

    Light, shadow, death yield high magic power

    All praises and honors the Slann deserve

    Five Spawnings will oversee the world sphere

    Eternally, they serve their divine roles

    Preserved in death, maintain their bodies here

    Great Rituals preserve their mighty souls

    Just below the Old Ones, the Slann stand tall

    Strong and wise, with dominion over all


    Song of the Old Ones
    Saurus Chapter


    Praise be the Old Ones and all that they spawn

    Praise be the Saurus second of the First

    Warring till all Anathema are gone

    Destroying the Old Foes, Fallen and cursed

    They serve as fang and talon of the Slann

    Hides and scale of their masters faithfully

    Safeguard the Wise Ones serving the Great Plan

    For the Slann they battle endlessly

    Age and sickness the Saurus will not know

    Only through battle may Saurus find death

    Each scar endured the Saurus shall grow

    Stronger and stronger till their final breath

    Strong for all First, they help all the others

    Standing strong with their spawning brothers


    Song of the Old Ones
    Skink Chapter

    Praise be the Old Ones and all that they make

    Praise be the Skinks, Third spawning of the First

    Tasks too small for Slann the Skinks undertake

    The First’s vital tasks between Skinks disbursed

    What Saurus cannot destroy, skinks shall waylay

    When Saurus rage grows too strong, Skinks restrain

    Through cunning and poison, foes they shall slay

    Outside of war, the cities they maintain

    From many spawnings the Skinks are amassed

    Workers, warriors, masters of the beast

    Each Skink spawned with his own preordained caste

    All serve the Great Plan both greatest and least

    Their vital tasks are many and varied

    Upon their backs, other First carried


    Song of the Old Ones
    Third Race

    Praise to the Old Ones and all that they birth

    Third of their creations, brave, strong, and stern

    Stone and metal they will work from the earth

    Metal talons and fangs might they can earn

    Runic power, mightiest of the Third

    Bind Chaos power in metal in stone

    Use of symbol, glyph, and powerful word

    Harness the power for Order alone

    The mountains and hills the Third will defend

    Like the mountains that sustain them they stand

    Anathema and Old Foes they shall rend

    Their strength and courage meets every demand

    Beware the Third Race’s greed; take them to task

    Should the Third’s reach exceed their grasp

    The Skaven

    as told by Tex’Halik, with apologies to Edgar Allen Poe.


    Once upon a midnight dreary, while I plotted, muscles weary –
    Over a twisted way to make a beast’s mind fit for war –

    While I schemed, ambitions hatching, suddenly there came a scratching,

    As of talons roughly catching, catching at my tower door.

    "Cursed attack beasts," I muttered, "scratching at my tower door –

    But they cannot reach this floor."



    On I worked, ambition burning, for such glory I was yearning.

    Soon again I heard the scratching, somewhat louder than before.

    Open here I flung the shutter, and with a flap, and hop, and flutter,

    In there stepped a winged nutter, moulder hands all dripping gore.

    Smug, entitled, cursed Skaven, dripping blood onto my floor,

    Come to taunt the skink some more.



    Did they hope to catch me fearing? My countenance started sneering,

    At the look of putrid hatred that the wretched ratman wore.

    "Though thy horns be shorn and shaven, thou" I said, "art Grey Seer, Skaven,

    And thy face is torn and craven. Thou art welcome here no more.

    My next pitbeast’s like a death god, which the Empire once named Morr."

    Quoth the Skaven: "Never Morr."



    "Be that word our sign of parting, ratty fiend!" I shrieked upstarting.

    "Get thee back into the tempest, and from Hell Pit’s warp-touched shore!

    Take thy filthy, Skaven scheming, take thy verminous deceiving,

    Take them out into the evening! Take them from my tower door –

    Lest I take up my scalpels and let your lifeblood stain my floor.

    Let me see thee nevermore!"

    Daily Life
    The cracking sun cuts through the window
    with Terradons calling out to Chotec’s embrace.
    I crawl from my bedroom pallet,
    my Spawn-brothers all chirping
    as fledgling Coatls,
    we, the children of the Old Ones.

    Heavy is Lustrian loam,
    worming between my claws
    into the shapes of my choosing,
    the power of the Gods
    residing in my cold-blood,
    a follower of the Old Ones.

    Baking heat in and out,
    and heavy rains beating on the promenade.
    I turn to my kiln,
    rich is my toil and work
    with great glyphs and earthenware
    as a servant of the Old Ones.

    The smell rises from sodden stones.
    We wait and witness
    the sacrifice in lifeblood,
    iron rubies drip onto the sacred gold,
    rejoicing in their favour,
    as worshippers of the Old Ones.

    We dine on wriggling grubs
    and crunch on gem-like beetles.
    Feasting after our labours,
    the slow night creeps as Huanchi;
    our blood sluggish and resting.
    Dreamers of the Old Ones.

    War-path
    Emerald hues of grasping leaves
    with snaking vines, and snaking lives
    inter-woven in the jungle canopy,
    all vibrant with the colour of life.
    As shadows of Huanchi
    cross paths with
    Chotec’s light-
    in the depths of my sacred home.

    Bloodflies and stegawasps,
    all thrumming in the air
    and flicker with their wings,
    as the mists descend from the heavens.
    Warm flesh scented, and found,
    amongst the broken path.
    We march, my spawn-kin and I,
    to the drums that have beaten
    continuously, millennia at a time.
    What trespassers dare defy
    the rule of the Old Ones? Upon
    their sacred soil
    we reign supreme
    in the name of their domain.

    Come, foul Xlanax!
    Know that you shall
    not find our temples empty,
    our lands corrupted or
    undefended.
    The Great Plan will continue,
    seeking vengeance
    for its completion.
    We are their servants,
    and we are ready this day.

    The Mosquito God
    As I grow up I was presented a world.
    I explored this realm that was laid before me.
    In joy, I read through ancient tomes
    And watched the armies of greater men march across the lands.
    Though the ether I watch great battles unfold, new and old.


    But the Great Mosquito sent his Four Horsemen.
    They threw the world into chaos and ripped it from me.
    I saw it spiraling away, a dead rock in the night.
    An asteroid burning in the atmosphere
    To be gone forever.
    My memory is all that remains of the world I entered too late.

    But the great mosquito threw before me nine new worlds blessed in law and greed.
    Laughing as the waves rose high.
    But I picked up the chains holding me down, made them mine.
    I fought back. And we will conquer these lands from the god of greed.
    In the name of chaos and order, in the name of destruction and death.

    For freedom, as we may always remember the lands belong to us.

    The Serpent

    Upon my wings of fire and light
    Across vast cities and sea
    Wastes and mountainous might
    To the Old Ones I journey

    Too late I came, they have gone
    Hope extinguished by the dark
    To see them once more I long
    Yet all to see is their faded mark

    Forgotten and fallen they are
    Plans unravelled, all in ruin
    For this they travelled so far?
    Neath reality madness a-brewing

    Children left lost and alone
    Servants perhaps, though deeply loved
    To fight on with sinew and bone
    Such children in scale hide gloved

    I see them struggle below
    Verminous tides smash and tear
    Never ending, their numbers grow
    Until a lone child sees my stare

    Strange little child with crest a-red
    Calls me a name and does pray
    Armies of red children bring dread
    To the ratfolk in hundreds they slay

    I listen, my wings never tire
    I listen as blood is offered
    I listen to the children’s fire
    I take what is proffered

    I am the serpent
    I am the vengeance
    I am the scourge of the rat
    I am Sotek

    There was a poetry "master",

    who had to write even faster,

    he ran out of time,

    to write his own rhyme,

    he forgot his own competition - disaster!



    - Also a Lizardman was present.
     
  2. Bowser
    Slann

    Bowser Third Spawning

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    All great! Wonderful entries everyone! Story one broke my heart a little. Oh the poor tragic tale of Teste'Klese. Now the command unit is lopsided. Very sad. I was so glad to read at least one Raven parody. And Poem 13, tsk tsk. Shameful.:p
     
  3. Killer Angel
    Slann

    Killer Angel Prophet of the Stars Staff Member

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    YES!
    here we are...

    A quick reading. Many things to conteplate, many concepts to be pondered, many rhymes to be evaluated. :)
     
  4. Wolfwerty33
    Cold One

    Wolfwerty33 Active Member

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    Glad to see some Haikus, some parodies, and one last-ditch entry.
     
  5. Aginor
    Slann

    Aginor Fifth Spawning Staff Member

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    I just read through them all, nice work everyone!
    Really hard to pick just three....
     
  6. Crowsfoot
    Slann

    Crowsfoot Guardian of Paints Staff Member

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    I've voted but damn it was hard!
     
  7. pendrake
    Skink Priest

    pendrake Well-Known Member

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    I voted early...but it was easy...because I know so little. :lurking:
     
  8. Killer Angel
    Slann

    Killer Angel Prophet of the Stars Staff Member

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    I have voted too.
    Details and considerations will follow. ;)
     
  9. SlanntaClause
    Carnasaur

    SlanntaClause Well-Known Member

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    Plenty of time to discuss these amazing contributions personally poem 13 was my favourite ...such craftsmanship of the highest order...no doubt we have a Poet Laureate among us - perfect in every way ;) no bias here I assure you
     
  10. Killer Angel
    Slann

    Killer Angel Prophet of the Stars Staff Member

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    I really wonder who could be the thirteen author... :rolleyes:
     
  11. Bowser
    Slann

    Bowser Third Spawning

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    My wild guesse at Authors
    Poem 1, the ode to Bob's ball was likely not written by Bob, and given the formatting I would say it was Crowsfoot. Plus his wife teaches English, and he does what he can to destroy the language. Or possibly I did it to throw you all off track.

    Poem 2, tough call, I think either Scalenex or Bracnos based on the ending. Cynical about AOS. I don't think Nightbringer entered, but you never know. I will say it was Bracnos. Or possibly I did it to throw you all off track.

    Poem 3- Tough call here, likely European based on the song, did TomNdege enter this? He more prefers to read than enter I think. I am goin to say this was Padre. Or possibly I did it to throw you all off track.

    Poem 4- it's a bit long winded, so the joke answer is Bob. Now for the real guess. Hmmm could this be Scalenex' foray into the AOS? No, too happy of an ending. So I say Bob. Or possibly I did it to throw you all off track.

    Poem 5- This is well thought out and adapted from a great poem. My initial thought was the dark fourth, or Slannputin, both educated and well spoken. Unlike the rest of you hillbillies. :p I kid. But the adaptation made me wonder if it might be the poetry major Soxii. But then why would a poetry major adapt instead of creating? So I will stick with Slannputin here. Or possibly I did it to throw you all off track.

    Poem 6- When I read this I immediately thought Slannta, pop culture reference at the end check. Multiple Slann somewhere in there, check. But the "This is instead of "is this" leads me to believe that while the English is fantastic, not the first language. My guess is Killer Angel.Or possibly I did it to throw you all off track.

    Poem 7, now this is almost definitely a Tolkien fan. Considering we play warhammer that is not a good clue. The Sauric Ace had previously written songs to the old ones. Rehashing old ground? I think I will chalk this one up to TDF. Beautifully written and exceeds the grade school expectation of a poem. Or possibly I did it to throw you all off track.

    Poem 8 Y'ttar did it. Or possibly I did it to throw you all off track.

    Poem 9 This one is tough, easy and laid back, until the sacrifice that is, but even that seems to go pretty smooth. Too relaxed to be Bob or Scalenex. My initial thoughts are that it was Essmir, but haven't heard much from him lately. So it's tough to say, but I think this was Slannta. Or possibly I did it to throw you all off track.

    Poem 10, I think this was the sauric ace , using flora and fauna that may or may not exist in the Lustriapedia, because of the Sauric Ace. Cursing the Old Ones and tempting them to rain down the hate. Or possibly I did it to throw you all off track.

    Poem 11, another stab at GW and AOS. Hmmm.. Nightbringer? This is reminiscent of Scalenex Pinky and the brain parody against the AOS. Though I thought he had come to terms with it and started playing. I say Scalenex. Or possibly I did it to throw you all off track.

    Poem 12, Another one where I want to say Slannputin, TDF or Soxii, since I have already said the other two probably, I am going to go with Soxii. A poem about Sotek, beautifully written and great structure. Or possibly I did it to throw you all off track.

    Poem 13, seems obvious that it would be Slannta, but that's just what he wants you to think. It seems more like a Bob production though. Misdirection. Which means that it could only possibly be Bob's second entry. Or possibly I did it to throw you all off track.
     
  12. Wolfwerty33
    Cold One

    Wolfwerty33 Active Member

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    Oi! What about me!
     
    Paradoxical Pacifism and Bowser like this.
  13. Bowser
    Slann

    Bowser Third Spawning

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    Well that puts a spanner in the works. So not the AOS ones, what fits best into the 3k series? I think I will say that
    Slannta wrote number 1, Bob 13, and Wolfwerty at number 9.
    Or possibly I did it to throw you all off track.
     
    Paradoxical Pacifism likes this.
  14. Y'ttar Scaletail
    Troglodon

    Y'ttar Scaletail Well-Known Member

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    Twist ending: Bowser wrote them all. :p
     
  15. spawning of Bob
    Skar-Veteran

    spawning of Bob Well-Known Member

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    Such diabolical guesses, Bows. I can't wait for the reveal to see just how far we were all thrown off track.
     
  16. Scalenex
    Slann

    Scalenex Keeper of the Indexes Staff Member

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    The calm,
    Cool face of the forum
    Asked me for a vote.


    I would have liked four votes, but @SlanntaClause is stingy. I guess I'm lucky to not be getting a lump of coal.

    I need to ponder how I want to do reviews. I have been good at English and I almost majored in English, but I never did well on poems. I love analyzing story construction, but poems are always difficult. I know there is structures, techniques, traditions, and all sort of academic goodies with poems but I never internalized it. I'm not sure what criteria to give my votes to. Do I pick the most amusing ones? The most technically difficult ones? The most evocative ones. I don't know. It will take a while for me to figure out what to vote for.

    I'd like to review the pieces, but I'm not sure how. Since poems are personal, I think the best solution is to have the authors explain their own pieces. So I'll talk about my piece. @Wolfwerty33 can talk about his and @Bowser can explain the eleven pieces he wrote.
     
    Last edited: Jul 27, 2018
  17. Aginor
    Slann

    Aginor Fifth Spawning Staff Member

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    Poems are hard. Judging them is even harder.
    Is something that isn't very original (such as an existing poem with just a few words swapped out) better than something original? Is is better if you know the poem it was derived from because only then you get the joke?
    When something is bad, but funny, is it better? Is something with simple rhymes better than a complex one? Or vice versa?

    Also (don't know how that came to my mind now:
    "Ringringringringringringring, the Seraphon!!!"
     
  18. spawning of Bob
    Skar-Veteran

    spawning of Bob Well-Known Member

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    I agree with @Scalenex that giving a valid critique of each poem will be next to impossible, and that @Bowser should just tell us how he wrote them all.
     
  19. Killer Angel
    Slann

    Killer Angel Prophet of the Stars Staff Member

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    Nope, you have guessed wrongly.
    Or possibly I'm lying.
     
  20. Bowser
    Slann

    Bowser Third Spawning

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    I was listening to the top 40 on the radio, and realized that the words don't matter, just keep the rhythm and you can pump out hundreds of songs or poems. Or possibly I didn't even enter the contest.
     

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