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Discussion The Lustrated River Valley, Ghyran, AOS. Description with Beastiary and Herbarum

Discussion in 'Fluff and Stories' started by Sudsinabucket, Aug 12, 2020.

  1. Sudsinabucket
    Skar-Veteran

    Sudsinabucket Well-Known Member

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    I've been working on a new Temple Host project lately and i've really gotten into building the lore and the part of the Mortal Realms which they reside.

    I originally started this as a painting blog but have decided to make it also into a writing blog as I'd love some feedback from the worldbuilders, story writers and general AOS knowledge of the community that may not glance at the painting blogs in the community.

    Before I share this rather...Long...Post of descriptions and lore...I have a question:


    For my Seraphon, they do a ritual where they cleanse chaotic beasts/monsters to their purist form and then use those purified monsters against chaos.

    heres my question:

    Could a star priest sacrifice a Gork and Mork imbued Maw Crusha to call forth a Blood Moon to further power their magic for the cleansing ritual? the idea was presented to me by a good friend and just want to double check its a sure thing.
    for better context here is an exerpt of the description for my Temple Host, Thanks for the help!

    *****
    Lustrated Temple Host –

    Leaders: Star Seer Itzli-Citlalli and High Prophet of Tzunki Tak’To

    Capital: Tlacopan

    The Lustrated Temple Host consists of powerful Star Seers and Star Priests who use their Saurus Legions and Beast Handlers to capture Chaos Beasts and Monsters. After a battle is won these creatures are forced back to the capital city of the Temple host Tlacopan (meaning "florid plant on flat ground") where they are caged with other captured creatures. When a Blood Moon shows over the Temple City one by one the chaotic beasts are ritually cleansed of their chaotic taint back into their purest natural form. In times of great need beast handlers will be sent forth to Ghur to capture a Maw-Crusha of the Ironjawz that has been imbued with the powers of Gorka Morka. Brought back the Maw-Crusha is sacrificed, forcing a Blood Moon to appear.

    These now cleansed creatures are turned against their former masters by the Star Priests. The first of these to be cleansed was Spore-Wing a Lustrigryph who fell to Nurgle, a native creature to The Lustrare River Valley, she of pure life magic was renamed Netheria the Reclaimed by the Star Priest Tak'to after the cleansing ritual.

    ****

    I'd love some feedback if you're willing!

    I still need to come up with settlement names for the Skaven, Nurgle and KO

    Rumors:

    1. It is Rumored that Clans Pestilence and Moulder work together on some plot to weaken trade along Green Ridge Pass to draw out the garrison of Taki’to. The Star Priest Xo’talac may be willing to hire mercenaries to scout the pass and bring back valuable information.

    2. It has been reported by both the humans of Oscoda on the Huron Creek, skinks of Xlakana and the Slyvaneth of Arbor Vale that those who have gone out to collect berries and other food along Huron Creek and The Great Green Swamp sometimes do not come back. Wild animals were to blame at first, but no bodies have been found, only drag marks. Skaven are thought to be the cause after further investigation, but Skaven have never been known to make it this far into the valley. The Sign of a Crow has been found at at least one site of a possible struggle, though strange claw marks have also been found.

    3. (Map of region for this rumor coming in the future) In the southern region of the valley herds of Parasauradons are falling ill to a new disease that seems to affect the wild strawberry fields throughout the plains they tend to favor. It is unknown where the disease came from though Nurgle is suspected



    The Lustrare River Valley-

    The Lustrare River Valley resides in Ghyran to the far north of the Heaving Mountains of Invidia and north west of the Sickling Sea on the northern continent of Maz'Talik. Protected by a mighty ring of Highlands and Mountains, the valley is a natural haven for life and is broken into three different vast regions: Northern, Southern and Western regions. The valley is home to mainly the Lustrated Temple Host though both Sylvaneth and tribal human settlements also flourish here. Already a wild ecosystem its jungles, marshes, grasslands and even its large desert have grown wilder still with the help of Realm Engines being powered directly by the Lustrum Node. Even with the mighty natural defenses and devastating armies of its inhabitants is not enough to deter outside forces from wanting access to the valley. Skaven carve out fortresses in the mountains to the northern edge and raid Green Ridge Pass disrupting trade and communications. Nurgle Breaches the mountain range to the far south (not pictured) hoping to exploit the Evergrowth Plains that lie south of Tlacopan. As if these threats were not dire enough, the Kharadron Overlords having recently discoveredthe valley adds a new unforeseen threat as they eye the natural resources and its wealth.

    Home to many creatures there are some of exceptional note: Thunderdons, Parasauradons, Carnosaurs, Troglodons, Ridge-Back Stegadons, Koatls, Giant Horses, Razordons, Salamanders, Blade-Tooth Stalkers, Razor-Beaks and the rare Lutrigryph (or Tlalkoatl in the Seraphon Tongue).

    The Lustrare River Valley was named after the Lustrum Ley Line that it rests upon and is thought to be blessed by the Old One Tzunki by the Lustrated Temple Host. The River is considered sacred to the Seraphon and to the Huron-Lustrare Tribal Confederacy, it is both a source of food and ritual importance. Though most of the valley is lush and green, there is one large desert that sits north of The Great Green Swamp.



    Races of the Valley:

    Seraphon:

    Lustrated Temple Host –

    Leaders: Star Seer Itzli-Citlalli and High Prophet of Tzunki Tak’To

    Capital: Tlacopan

    The Lustrated Temple Host consists of powerful Star Seers and Star Priests who use their Saurus Legions and Beast Handlers to capture Chaos Beasts and Monsters. After a battle is won these creatures are forced back to the capital city of the Temple host Tlacopan (meaning "florid plant on flat ground") where they are caged with other captured creatures. When a Blood Moon shows over the Temple City one by one the chaotic beasts are ritually cleansed of their chaotic taint back into their purest natural form. In times of great need beats handlers will be sent forth to Ghur to capture a Maw-Crusha of the Ironjawz that has been imbued with the powers of Gorka Morka. Brought back the Maw-Crusha is sacrificed, forcing a Blood Moon to appear.

    These now cleansed creatures are turned against their former masters by the Star Priests. The first of these to be cleansed was Spore-Wing a Lustrigryph who fell to Nurgle, a native creature to The Lustrare River Valley, she of pure life magic was renamed Netheria the Reclaimed by the Star Priest Tak'to after the cleansing ritual.

    The Burning Moons Seraphon whom are Starborne are the true allies to the Lustrated Temple Host. The only Seraphon that come from a Temple Ship that have Coalesced within them, they are an elite force from the stars who bring fear to any realm as foes are tactically and mercilessly slaughtered. Where fighting is the fiercest the Burning Moons are dropped down in rays of glorious light that blind the foe as claw, fangs and giant monsters are unleashed upon the battlefield. Often the cause of breaking a stalemate, the legions of this Star Host are a tactical hit squad.

    Human:

    Huron-Lustrare Tribal confederacy –

    Leader: High Empress Kara,

    Capital: Ta’was

    A loose confederacy of human valley tribes, these peoples make up the native human population within the valley. A Warrior-Matriarchy Society the women control everyday life of the Confederacy and also all major decisions regarding war, diplomacy and other politics. The men of the tribes are expected to hunt and provide for the village families, in times of war they are called upon to join the ranks of the elite warrior women caste. The Tribes, especially those of the northern and western regions of the valley, are naturally gifted with navigating not only the mighty Lustrare river and marshes but also the Great Green Swamp. Although cautious and sometimes hostile to outsiders, the village of Oscoda which resides Between Tlacopan and It’lit is known to have guides and mercenaries for hire.

    In the southern region the Huron-Lustrare tribes are nearly unmatched on the open Evergrowth Plains, masters of riding the feared and favored mounts of the tribal peoples: Razor-Beaks, Giant flightless birds.

    Cities of Sigmar:

    Spring Hills Village –

    Leader: Herman Von Carstein

    Capital: Spring Hills Village

    The People of Spring Hills Village live amongst rolling hills where small creeks bring fresh spring and rainwater to rest in the inland lake. Widely uninformed of news beyond the rolling hills of their home the population is very close knit and weary of strangers, especially of those not known to be native of the valley. A newer village of elves, dwarves and humans they arrived in the valley by chance when fleeing from the armies of Nurgle and Clan Pestilence.

    Sylvaneth:

    Eversong Village –

    Arbor Vale -

    Duardin:

    Fyreslayers –

    Leader:

    Moss-Oak Lodge: Fyreslayers who migrated from Ghur to Ghyran generations ago and have adapted to the wilds of the Valley forests in the western region. Known to be at odds with the Kharadron Overlords of Barak Mhornar who seek to exert their dominance over the area. The newest inhabitants of the valley by hundreds of years the Moss-Oak Lodge has an uneasy truce with the Huron-Lustrare Tribal Confederacy and a hard-won non-aggression pact with the Seraphon of the valley. The Sylvaneth and the Lodge seem to not bother one another though they have been seen scouting each other’s territories and smaller villages.

    Kharadron Overlords –

    Leader:

    Barak Mhornar: The city of shadow. The people of Barak Mhornar are very schewy in their interpretation of the Code,and are known to be scoundrels with very shady tactics and strategies. They have been seen scouting the western region of the valley by both the Moss-Oak Lodge and the Lustrated Temple Host.

    Skaven:

    Nurgle:

    The Northern Lustrare Valley

    Key Areas:


    The Lustrum Node -

    A powerful hub of pure life magic that sit beneath a large inland River-Lake and surrounded by the Temple City of Tlacopan. Although life magic seeps up throughout the lake through cracks in the lake bed it is the island in the middle of the lake where the magic is strongest. In the middle of the island is a large tree, a giant white barked Weeping Willow said to be of beyond ancient in age. The Island and the giant Weeping Willow are said to be directly connected to the magic beneath, the grass shimmering with the purist of greens and yellows as it blows in the wind. As the life magic seeps into the lake the flow of the river that runs through takes the life magic rich waters down river, for miles it flows until it leaves the valley through the Genesis Mountain Range. This is also what gives the ability to preform The Lustrum Ritual which allows the Lustrated Temple Host to purify chaos monsters.

    The Lustrare River –

    The Lustrare River is a long winding waterway that eventually empties into either The Great Green Swamp via the Huron Creek to the southwest or to the Sickling Sea to the southeast. Along its winding body shallow marshes bud off offering false hope of a safe place to camp, abnormally large alligators and other jungle predators lurk in these shallow alcoves. The closer the river flows to the Lustrum Node the larger, thicker and deadlier plants grow; Tremorvine Plants a form of carnivorous plant are common.

    Huron Creek -

    Evergrowth Plains –

    The Evergrowth Plains cover most of the southern reaches of the valley as well as parts of the northern region. Home to vast herds of Parasauradons, Giant Horses, Large Mammoths, and other creatures the plains are a great source prey for predators such as Cold Ones, Razor Beaks, Large Cats and sometimes Carnosaurs. The grass, called shimmer blade, shimmers in the sun as it changes color depending on how the light hits it from a bright green to a glowing yellow. Soft like silk it is used by tribes for clothes, furniture fabric, bandages among other uses and is highly tradeable outside of the valley as it only grows in this area. The grass as it absorbs nutrients from the soil also absorbs the life magic from the ley line, the blade gains a small healing property making bandages made of the grass highly sought after. The grass is also highly coveted by magic users who practice life magic as the blades of grass allow life magic to flow easier as the grass already naturally has life magic flowing through it.

    The Great Green Swamp –

    To the west of Tlacopan and south of the Blade-Tooth Mountains is the Great Green Swamp, a large body of water that covers nearly half of the western portion of the valley and which The Lustrare River via the Huron Creek empties. Multiple species of trees dot the swamp, though the shade they provide protects from the sun, it does make spotting lurking predators such as massive Alligators and Troglodons. With water that is nearly black and thick green algae covering much of the surface the swamp is perilous for the inexperienced or guideless. Predators are not the only dangers here, the further you get away from the moss and vine covered shore line you risk being pulled under by the powerful suction of underwater tunnels and caverns. Like all swamps it is not only the large animals which you must look out for but the small as well. Poisonous frogs the size of a mans head hide on the isands throughout the swamp, venomous snakes, along with other small insects

    Blade-Tooth Mountains –

    Home to the feared Blade-Tooth Cougar, the mountains are unforgiving to even the most hardened of explorers and warriors alike. Covered in thick forest and roaring rapid filled rivers, the mountains contain abundant life as large antlered deer and elk strip bark and brush from trees and the soil, small squirrels warn of wolves and fish migrate up from the western reaches of The Great Green Swamp.

    Grand Life Mountains –

    Beastiary:

    Many creatures and monsters big and small live within the borders of the Lustrare River Valley, this list is not a full list but a list of those beasts that one should know of if they are to survive the valley.

    Thunderdons –

    Behemoths and unmatched in size of any animal in the valley, these gentle giants are found wading in the deepest and widest sections of the Lustrare river with their upper backs uncovered and surrounding jungles. Their long necks are able to reach the highest canopy or the deepest sections of the river for any vegetation their long necks and tongues can reach. These animals are however not strictly herbivores, they are in fact omnivores and will eat carcasses they come upon, they have even been known to trample dying or slow animals. Thunderdon scales are not only thick but also strong, each one like stone. These scales which are considered sacred are used by the Lustrated Temple Host for their shields, as Thunderdons move through the jungle their scales fall off as they rub against the hardened bark. Kharadron Overlords seek out these scales which cause conflict with the Seraphon of the valley.

    Used by the Seraphon as beasts of labor and of war, these animals can carry tons of weight onto their back as their reinforced bones hardly notice. In times of peace these animals haul boulders and the heaviest logs to construction sites or carry large barrels of water that skinks use to put out fires within the Temple cities and villages. In times of war these giants are fitted with mighty war howdahs fitted with powerful engines of Celestial power, giant Skystreak Bows and 3 companies of skinks. Commanded by a Powerful Seer or Star Priest these giants are given armor covered in gold and jewels and a large thagomizer made out of gold covered metal and bamboo.

    The most famous Thunderdon is Tlanextic of Texcoco in Ghur.

    Parasauradons –

    Large Herbivore that is commonly found in herds in the Evergrowth Plains and surrounding jungles, these mostly quadrupedal animals can stand up on their powerful hind legs and kick with their hooved front limbs. Known distinctively by their large Crest on their head, these crests not only are how they communicate but also offer a defense against predators such as Carnosaurs when in small to large herds. When presented with a threat the males of the herd will form a line between them and the females and offspring and begin calling out. Each call is louder than 20 ram horn calls, all threats in front of the sound wave effectively have their brain raddled and they are forced to retreat or risk severe brain damage or death.

    The Huron-Lustrare peoples who live on the plains have learned how to domesticate these animals and use them as war mounts along with the Razor Beaks. As they charge into battle their mounts create an offensive sound barrier that breaks battle lines before the impact of the charge has even happened.

    Photo of a Parasauradon in war garb (ignore the rider as the rider would look more Native American Iroquois mixed with Aztec aethstetic)
    Screenshot_20191123-010330_Pinterest.jpg

    Carnosaurs –

    Carnosaurs are large apex predators that have terrorized the darkness of the jungles since the valley’s creation. Considered by many as the ultimate hunter, with some growing nearly two stories tall, these massive reptilian beasts are powerfully built and highly aggressive creatures, with long, muscular hind limbs and a heavy tail that is used to balance its enlarged and powerful skull. Only few other predators are even with these mighty predators.

    Their shortened forelimbs and sharp claws are ideal for locking hold of prey, allowing the Carnosaur to better line up its most destructive attack; Carnosaurs have massive jaws, their gaping mouths filled with dagger-like death. Their bite can hack through huge chunks of flesh on larger prey, and by twisting its thick, muscular neck, a Carnosaur can simply rip its quarry apart piece by bloody piece. Having tasted blood, a Carnosaur is at its most deadly, for it enters a state of savage bloodlust — biting and tearing at any living creature, sometimes slaughtering its gory way through entire herds of giant reptilian without pause. Such is what they were bred to become, for the primordial jungles of only spares the strongest and most ferocious of monsters, whilst the weak are simply left to be eaten by those seeking to consume flesh.

    Troglodons –

    Reaching nearly the same size as a Carnosaur, the twin-tailed Troglodons are mighty creatures which spend most of their time in the many marshes along the river system and within The Great Green Swamp. Although mostly blind, they rely on other, not-yet understood, methods to locate their prey, their long, whisker-like appendages guiding them unerringly through the dense jungle and swamps.

    Lurking amongst the fallen trees and thick algae the Troglodon will wait patiently for an unsuspecting victim. Once a victim is located, the Troglodon will attempt to catch it in its toxic jaws, but if this is not possible, it will instead spit its highly-corrosive venom at the prey, the resultant sizzle from the fluid meeting flesh guiding the beast in for the kill.

    Ridge-Back Stegadons –

    Unique to The Lustrare River Valley and the continent of Maz'Talik these medium sized reptiles are related to the Stegadon. Countless generations of breeding Stegadons lead the Lustrated Temple Host to infuse life magic into their Stegadon eggs, hurrying the evolutionary process. Thick Plates of diamond tough bone grow from the beasts back, a large thagomizer with a blade like tip can cut through trees and flesh alike with ease, on its shoulder blades and hips large spikes grow outwards. Though smaller than Stegadons, Ridge-Backs are more intelligent and have a better temperament allowing for better and safer training by skinks for war.

    Koatl -

    Giant Horses -

    Razordons -

    Salamanders –

    Cold Ones –

    Horned Ones –

    Terradons –

    Ripperdactyls –

    Quetzeldons -

    Blade-Tooth Stalkers –

    Razor Beaks-

    Lutrigryph -

    Herbarum:

    Much like the Beastiary this is a list of native plants one should keep an eye out for, though this is not a full comprehensive list as new discoveries are found. Some are edible and have healing properties while others are poisonous or possibly large and carnivorous.

    Tremorvine Plant -

    A large plant with tri lips that open into a giant thorny maw with long vines that spring forth to capture prey as it tries to flee after getting too close. The Tremorvine Plant gets its name from its ability to feel vibrations through both its roots and mawvines. The roots are used to target prey that comes within 4 yards, after detection barbed vines spring forth from the opened maw and race towards its victim. The vines are able to feel vibration through long thing hairs that line it, as the prey runs each stomp gives away its location, the vines have incredible length and grow up to 75 feet long and 3 feet wide at its thickest point. The plant itself is only the size of a Kroxigor, to make its vines fit its thorny teeth fold in when its lips seal and its long fines are able to compress flat onto each other and act as a spring when unleashed.


    Key Settlements of the Northern Lustrare Valley:


    Seraphon:

    Lustrated Temple Host


    Tlacopan –

    The Capital of the Lustrated Temple Host, The Lustrare runs through it as thick jungle and dangerous swamps surround it. Its towering walls, towers and other defenses peer over these natural barriers alerting the city before any enemy can start an assault. Roosts of Terradons, Ripperdactyls and Quetzeldons rest ontop of the towers that dot the high walls, these avian beats act as scouting parties or swoop down on enemy forces if the towers Sun and Earth beams do not turn them back first.


    The mighty Temple City is the central hub for trade in the region with its large markets and ease of transport with the river. Skyscraping temples, libraries housing ancient parchments of different races, and other architectural wonders dot the city. Ranks of Saurus Warriors with a Scar Vet and Carnosaur patrol the streets, their eyes piercing as they look for any law break or sign of corruption. If one is unlucky enough to be caught breaking the law they may have to do weeks worth of manual labor for the accuser, that however is light compared to severe offenses. If severe enough of a law break or offense you may be sentenced to what is called "Purification" in which you are purified upon a sacrificial altar in the name of Tzunki.

    Taki’to –

    It’lit –

    Xlakana –

    Zaktac –

    Human:

    Huron-Lustrare Tribal Confederacy:

    Oscoda –

    Sylvaneth:

    Eversong Village –

    Arbor Vale –

    Skaven:


    Maps made with Inkarnate Map Creator:
    The Northern Lustrare River Valley, Ghyran. (Homebrew, No Grid).jpg The Northern Lustrare River Valley, Ghyran. (Homebrew, Grid).jpg

    Thank you for taking the time to read this! I REALLY appreciate it!
     
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2020
  2. Imrahil
    Slann

    Imrahil Thirtheenth Spawning

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    Mental Note to self: read this thoroughly after I read all the short Stories. ;)

    Grrr, Imrahil
     
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  3. Sudsinabucket
    Skar-Veteran

    Sudsinabucket Well-Known Member

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    Please do!

    Hoping to finish more of the descriptions today, I feel some of them are lacking atm of those that do have descriptions also... still a WIP from imagination to paper :)
     
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  4. Sudsinabucket
    Skar-Veteran

    Sudsinabucket Well-Known Member

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    Added a few things to the Thunderdon (slightly extended lore) and Parasauradon (picture)
     
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  5. Sudsinabucket
    Skar-Veteran

    Sudsinabucket Well-Known Member

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    Added The Herbarum and its first native plant: The Tremorvine Plant (Inspired by the Movie Tremors)

    "Much like the Beastiary this is a list of native plants one should keep an eye out for, though this is not a full comprehensive list. Some are edible and have healing properties while others are poisonous or possibly large and carnivorous."
     
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  6. Krai’kotak
    Skink

    Krai’kotak Member

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    Great lore brother the slann truly have given you his knowledge
     
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  7. Sudsinabucket
    Skar-Veteran

    Sudsinabucket Well-Known Member

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    Thank you so much! Its a lot of fun coming up with a story for my Temple host and even more fun to world build the region they're in! Right now I'm working on the description for the Temple Host themselves :)
     
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  8. Sudsinabucket
    Skar-Veteran

    Sudsinabucket Well-Known Member

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    Hey there!

    So, to make this easier I'm just making a new post with all the updated descriptions and such! If you just read this, I'm so sorry! There are mainly there isn't A TON of new descriptions but the most notable is the extended addition of The Lustrated Temple Host itself :)

    I really hope you enjoy reading about my lore as much as I've enjoyed writing and thinking it up so far!



    Rumors:

    1. It is Rumored that Clans Pestilence and Moulder work together on some plot to weaken trade along Green Ridge Pass to draw out the garrison of Taki’to. The Star Priest Xo’talac may be willing to hire mercenaries to scout the pass and bring back valuable information.

    2. It has been reported by both the humans of Oscoda on the Huron Creek, skinks of Xlakana and the Slyvaneth of Arbor Vale that those who have gone out to collect berries and other food along Huron Creek and The Great Green Swamp sometimes do not come back. Wild animals were to blame at first, but no bodies have been found, only drag marks. Skaven are thought to be the cause after further investigation, but Skaven have never been known to make it this far into the valley. The Sign of a Crow has been found at at least one site of a possible struggle, though strange claw marks have also been found.

    3. (Map of region for this rumor coming in the future) In the southern region of the valley herds of Parasauradons are falling ill to a new disease that seems to affect the wild strawberry fields throughout the plains they tend to favor. It is unknown where the disease came from though Nurgle is suspected

    4. There is a legend of there being lost chambers under the lone obelisk in the northern part of the Desert of the Sun. It is said these chambers hold immense wealth, lost scrolls from the age of myth, lost plaques from a time before time, one legend even says there is a powerful weapon of old gods locked away.... legends are mostly made up, right?



    The Lustrare River Valley-

    The Lustrare River Valley resides in Ghyran to the far north of the Heaving Mountains of Invidia and north west of the Sickling Sea on the northern continent of Maz'Talik. Protected by a mighty ring of Highlands and Mountains, the valley is a natural haven for life and is broken into three different vast regions: Northern, Southern and Western regions. The valley is home to mainly the Lustrated Temple Host though both Sylvaneth and tribal human settlements also flourish here. Already a wild ecosystem its jungles, marshes, grasslands and even its large desert have grown wilder still with the help of Realm Engines being powered directly by the Lustrum Node. Even with the mighty natural defenses and devastating armies of its inhabitants is not enough to deter outside forces from wanting access to the valley. Skaven carve out fortresses in the mountains to the northern edge and raid Green Ridge Pass disrupting trade and communications. Nurgle Breaches the mountain range to the far south (not pictured) hoping to exploit the Evergrowth Plains that lie south of Tlacopan. As if these threats were not dire enough, the Kharadron Overlords having recently discovered the valley adds a new unforeseen threat as they eye the natural resources and its wealth.

    Home to many creatures there are some of exceptional note: Thunderdons, Parasauradons, Carnosaurs, Troglodons, Ridge-Back Stegadons, Koatls, Giant Horses, Razordons, Salamanders, Blade-Tooth Stalkers, Razor-Beaks and the rare Lutrigryph (or Tlalkoatl in the Seraphon Tongue).

    The Lustrare River Valley was named after the Lustrum Ley Line that it rests upon and is thought to be blessed by the Old One Tzunki by the Lustrated Temple Host. The River is considered sacred to the Seraphon and to the Huron-Lustrare Tribal Confederacy, it is both a source of food and ritual importance. Though most of the valley is lush and green, there is one large desert that sits north of The Great Green Swamp.


    Races of the Valley:

    Seraphon:

    Lustrated Temple Host –

    Leaders: Star Seer Itzli-Citlalli and High Prophet of Tzunki Tak’To

    Capital: Tlacopan

    The Seraphon of the Lustrated Temple Host are the defenders of nature and the balance that must be held to preserve the purity of life untainted.

    Upon the lost titanic Temple Ship of Xiuhcoatl the Stareborne who would become the Lustrated Temple Host and the Blood Moon Temple Host. With their Slann Supreme Star Gazer Ka’ Rapixca stuck within his own mind upon discovering an ancient prophecy and also the destination of his kins salvation, his Right and Left hands: The Old Blood Acattopa and the Star Seer Itzli-Citlalli were forced to take a more direct approach to leadership beyond their normal capacities.

    Before their Slanns eyes rolled back and his mind lost to battle his inner horrors or be lost forever he uttered a last omen: “The Blood Moon and the Lustrum will cleanse all that needs cleansing, Tzunki provides as he is the master of water and tides, so as long as the water of the Lustrum flows and the Blood Moons Red gaze shimmers down, so then the Crow and Rat cannot fester in what is pure…”. Both Acattopa and Itzli, both ancient in age and knowledge, did not understand their masters' last words. The Oldblood in his frustration began to run war drills with the legions of saurus and other Seraphon, demanding more spawnings be brought forth as he believed that Chaos was to blame for the Slanns fate. Itzli however meditated and searched the stars for what his master had found, even if just a glimpse. Months passed and the military might of the Temple Ship grew to enormous heights, its numbers enough to challenge any power of the Mortal Realms, even Gods would be wise to avoid conflict. However it was in the deep reaches of space and time that the first glimmer of hope would come, gazing through the last mighty lens of Spektezuma Itzli saw it: The Lustrum Node. Glimmering in pure life magic of greens, yellows and golds the Lustrum Node seemed to call out to Itzli. Feeling the pull Itzli commanded the Temple Ship in the direction of the Lustrum, however Acattopa has given a vision by a priest of Itzl of a primordial realm where his saurus could become more savage and brutal in war. Itzli and his most trusted advisor Star Priest Tak’to would form the Lustrated Temple Host and discover The Lustrare River Valley in Ghyran and construct the Temple City of Tlacopan. Acattopa would take half of the legions to Ghur, the realm of beasts as his personal warmongering priests advised forming The Blood Moon Temple Host. Over generations of being within the realms both Tempe Hosts would begin to coalesce until finally becoming fully connected with the realms they resided.

    The Lustrated Temple Host consists of powerful Star Seers and Star Priests who use their Saurus Legions and Beast Handlers to capture Chaos Beasts and Monsters. After a battle is won these creatures are forced back to the capital city of the Temple host Tlacopan (meaning "florid plant on flat ground") where they are caged with other captured creatures. When a Blood Moon shows over the Temple City one by one the chaotic beasts are ritually cleansed of their chaotic taint back into their purest natural form. In times of great need, beast handlers will be sent forth to Ghur to capture a Maw-Crusha of the Ironjawz or a Guargantuan Squig of the Gloomspite that has been imbued with the powers of Gorka Morka. Brought back the creature is sacrificed, forcing a Blood Moon to appear and if the sacrifice was a Squig the blood moon is able to last longer for the ritual.

    These now cleansed creatures are turned against their former masters by the Star Priests. The first of these to be cleansed was Spore-Wing a Lustrigryph who fell to Nurgle, a native creature to The Lustrare River Valley, she of pure life magic was renamed Netheria the Reclaimed by the Star Priest Tak'to after the cleansing ritual.

    The Burning Moons Seraphon who are Starborne are the true allies to the Lustrated Temple Host. The only Seraphon that come from a Temple Ship that have Coalesced within them, they are an elite force from the stars who bring fear to any realm as foes are tactically and mercilessly slaughtered. Where fighting is the fiercest the Burning Moons are dropped down in rays of glorious light that blind the foe as claw, fangs and giant monsters are unleashed upon the battlefield. Often the cause of breaking a stalemate, the legions of this Star Host are a tactical hit squad.


    Human:

    Huron-Lustrare Tribal confederacy –

    Leader: High Empress Kara,

    Capital: Ta’was

    A loose confederacy of human valley tribes, these peoples make up the native human population within the valley. A Warrior-Matriarchy Society the women control everyday life of the Confederacy and also all major decisions regarding war, diplomacy and other politics. The men of the tribes are expected to hunt and provide for the village families, in times of war they are called upon to join the ranks of the elite warrior women caste. The Tribes, especially those of the northern and western regions of the valley, are naturally gifted with navigating not only the mighty Lustrare river and marshes but also the Great Green Swamp. Although cautious and sometimes hostile to outsiders, the village of Oscoda which resides Between Tlacopan and It’lit is known to have guides and mercenaries for hire.

    In the southern region the Huron-Lustrare tribes are nearly unmatched on the open Evergrowth Plains, masters of riding the feared and favored mounts of the tribal peoples: Razor-Beaks, Giant flightless birds.


    Cities of Sigmar:

    Spring Hills Village –

    Leader: Herman Von Carstein

    Capital: Spring Hills Village

    The People of Spring Hills Village live amongst rolling hills where small creeks bring fresh spring and rainwater to rest in the inland lake. Widely uninformed of news beyond the rolling hills of their home the population is very close knit and weary of strangers, especially of those not known to be native of the valley. A newer village of elves, dwarves and humans arrived in the valley by chance when fleeing from the armies of Nurgle and Clan Pestilence.

    Sylvaneth:

    Eversong Village –

    Arbor Vale -

    Duardin:

    Fyreslayers –

    Leader:

    Moss-Oak Lodge: Fyreslayers who migrated from Ghur to Ghyran generations ago and have adapted to the wilds of the Valley forests in the western region. Known to be at odds with the Kharadron Overlords of Barak Mhornar who seek to exert their dominance over the area. The newest inhabitants of the valley by hundreds of years the Moss-Oak Lodge has an uneasy truce with the Huron-Lustrare Tribal Confederacy and a hard-won non-aggression pact with the Seraphon of the valley. The Sylvaneth and the Lodge seem to not bother one another though they have been seen scouting each other’s territories and smaller villages.

    Kharadron Overlords –

    Leader:

    Barak Mhornar: The city of shadow. The people of Barak Mhornar are very schewy in their interpretation of the Code,and are known to be scoundrels with very shady tactics and strategies. They have been seen scouting the western region of the valley by both the Moss-Oak Lodge and the Lustrated Temple Host.

    Skaven:

    Nurgle:

    The Northern Lustrare Valley

    Key Areas:


    The Lustrum Node -

    A powerful hub of pure life magic that sits beneath a large inland River-Lake and surrounded by the Temple City of Tlacopan. Although life magic seeps up throughout the lake through cracks in the lake bed it is the island in the middle of the lake where the magic is strongest. In the middle of the island is a large tree, a giant white barked Weeping Willow said to be beyond ancient in age. The Island and the giant Weeping Willow are said to be directly connected to the magic beneath, the grass shimmering with the purist of greens and yellows as it blows in the wind. As the life magic seeps into the lake the flow of the river that runs through takes the life magic rich waters down the river, for miles it flows until it leaves the valley through the Genesis Mountain Range. This is also what gives the ability to perform The Lustrum Ritual which allows the Lustrated Temple Host to purify chaos monsters.

    The Lustrare River –

    The Lustrare River is a long winding waterway that eventually empties into either The Great Green Swamp via the Huron Creek to the southwest or to the Sickling Sea to the southeast. Along its winding body shallow marshes bud off offering false hope of a safe place to camp, abnormally large alligators and other jungle predators lurk in these shallow alcoves. The closer the river flows to the Lustrum Node the larger, thicker and deadlier plants grow; Tremorvine Plants a form of carnivorous plant are common.


    Huron Creek -

    Evergrowth Plains –


    The Evergrowth Plains cover most of the southern reaches of the valley as well as parts of the northern region. Home to vast herds of Parasauradons, Giant Horses, Large Mammoths, and other creatures the plains are a great source of prey for predators such as Cold Ones, Razor Beaks, Large Cats and sometimes Carnosaurs. The grass, called shimmer blade, shimmers in the sun as it changes color depending on how the light hits it from a bright green to a glowing yellow. Soft like silk it is used by tribes for clothes, furniture fabric, bandages among other uses and is highly tradeable outside of the valley as it only grows in this area. The grass as it absorbs nutrients from the soil also absorbs the life magic from the ley line, the blade gains a small healing property making bandages made of the grass highly sought after. The grass is also highly coveted by magic users who practice life magic as the blades of grass allow life magic to flow easier as the grass already naturally has life magic flowing through it.

    The Great Green Swamp –

    To the west of Tlacopan and south of the Blade-Tooth Mountains is the Great Green Swamp, a large body of water that covers nearly half of the western portion of the valley and which The Lustrare River via the Huron Creek empties. Multiple species of trees dot the swamp, though the shade they provide protects from the sun, it does make spotting lurking predators such as massive Alligators and Troglodons. With water that is nearly black and thick green algae covering much of the surface the swamp is perilous for the inexperienced or guideless. Predators are not the only dangers here, the further you get away from the moss and vine covered shore line you risk being pulled under by the powerful suction of underwater tunnels and caverns. Like all swamps it is not only the large animals which you must look out for but the small as well. Poisonous frogs the size of a man's head hide on the islands throughout the swamp, venomous snakes, along with other small insects

    Blade-Tooth Mountains –

    Home to the feared Blade-Tooth Cougar, the mountains are unforgiving to even the most hardened of explorers and warriors alike. Covered in thick forest and roaring rapid filled rivers, the mountains contain abundant life as large antlered deer and elk strip bark and brush from trees and the soil, small squirrels warn of wolves and fish migrate up from the western reaches of The Great Green Swamp.

    Grand Life Mountains –

    Beastiary:

    Thunderdons –

    Behemoths and unmatched in size of any animal in the valley, these gentle giants are found wading in the deepest and widest sections of the Lustrare river with their upper backs uncovered and surrounding jungles. Their long necks are able to reach the highest canopy or the deepest sections of the river for any vegetation their long necks and tongues can reach. These animals are however not strictly herbivores, they are in fact omnivores and will eat carcasses they come upon, they have even been known to trample dying or slow animals. Thunderdon scales are not only thick but also strong, each one like stone. These scales which are considered sacred are used by the Lustrated Temple Host for their shields, as Thunderdons move through the jungle their scales fall off as they rub against the hardened bark. Kharadron Overlords seek out these scales which cause conflict with the Seraphon, the scales are considered sacred to the Lustrated Temple Host.

    Used by the Seraphon as beasts of labor and of war, these animals can carry tons of weight onto their back as their reinforced bones hardly notice. In times of peace these animals haul boulders and the heaviest logs to construction sites or carry large barrels of water that skinks use to put out fires within the Temple cities and villages. In times of war these giants are fitted with mighty war howdahs fitted with powerful engines of Celestial power, giant Skystreak Bows and 3 companies of skinks. Commanded by a Powerful Seer or Star Priest these giants are given armor covered in gold and jewels and a large thagomizer made out of gold covered metal and bamboo.

    The most famous Thunderdon is Tlanextic of Texcoco in Ghur.


    Parasauradons –

    Large Herbivore that is commonly found in herds in the Evergrowth Plains and surrounding jungles, these mostly quadrupedal animals can stand up on their powerful hind legs and kick with their hooved front limbs. Known distinctively by their large Crest on their head, these crests not only are how they communicate but also offer a defense against predators such as Carnosaurs when in small to large herds. When presented with a threat the males of the herd will form a line between them and the females and offspring and begin calling out. Each call is louder than 20 ram horn calls, all threats in front of the sound wave effectively have their brain raddled and they are forced to retreat or risk severe brain damage or death.

    The Huron-Lustrare peoples who live on the plains have learned how to domesticate these animals and use them as war mounts along with the Razor Beaks. As they charge into battle their mounts create an offensive sound barrier that breaks battle lines before the impact of the charge has even happened.

    Parasauradon in war garb (ignore rider but a spear or obsidian warblade is used by the Huron-Lustrare people) :
    Parasauradon rider.jpg


    Carnosaurs –

    Carnosaurs are large apex predators that have terrorized the darkness of the jungles since the valley’s creation. Considered by many as the ultimate hunter, with some growing nearly two stories tall, these massive reptilian beasts are powerfully built and highly aggressive creatures, with long, muscular hind limbs and a heavy tail that is used to balance its enlarged and powerful skull. Only a few other predators are even with these mighty predators.

    Their shortened forelimbs and sharp claws are ideal for locking hold of prey, allowing the Carnosaur to better line up its most destructive attack; Carnosaurs have massive jaws, their gaping mouths filled with dagger-like death. Their bite can hack through huge chunks of flesh on larger prey, and by twisting its thick, muscular neck, a Carnosaur can simply rip its quarry apart piece by bloody piece. Having tasted blood, a Carnosaur is at its most deadly, for it enters a state of savage bloodlust — biting and tearing at any living creature, sometimes slaughtering its gory way through entire herds of giant reptilian without pause. Such is what they were bred to become, for the primordial jungles of only spares the strongest and most ferocious of monsters, whilst the weak are simply left to be eaten by those seeking to consume flesh.


    Troglodons –

    Reaching nearly the same size as a Carnosaur, the twin-tailed Troglodons are mighty creatures which spend most of their time in the many marshes along the river system and within The Great Green Swamp. Although mostly blind, they rely on other, not-yet understood, methods to locate their prey, their long, whisker-like appendages guiding them unerringly through the dense jungle and swamps.

    Lurking amongst the fallen trees and thick algae the Troglodon will wait patiently for an unsuspecting victim. Once a victim is located, the Troglodon will attempt to catch it in its toxic jaws, but if this is not possible, it will instead spit its highly-corrosive venom at the prey, the resultant sizzle from the fluid meeting flesh guiding the beast in for the kill.


    Ridge-Back Stegadons –

    Unique to The Lustrare River Valley and the continent of Maz'Talik these medium sized reptiles are related to the Stegadon. Countless generations of breeding Stegadons lead the Lustrated Temple Host to infuse life magic into their Stegadon eggs, hurrying the evolutionary process. Thick Plates of diamond tough bone grow from the beasts back, a large thagomizer with a blade like tip can cut through trees and flesh alike with ease, on its shoulder blades and hips large spikes grow outwards. Though smaller than Stegadons, Ridge-Backs are more intelligent and have a better temperament allowing for better and safer training by skinks for war.

    Koatl -

    Giant Horses -

    Razordons -

    Salamanders –

    Cold Ones –

    Horned Ones –

    Terradons –

    Ripperdactyls –

    Quetzeldons -

    Blade-Tooth Stalkers –

    Razor Beaks-

    Lutrigryph -

    Herbarum:

    Like the Beastiary this is a list of native plants one should keep an eye out for, though this is not a full comprehensive list as new discoveries are found. Some are edible and have healing properties while others are poisonous or possibly large and carnivorous.

    Tremorvine Plant -

    A large plant with tri lips that open into a giant thorny maw with long vines that spring forth to capture prey as it tries to flee after getting too close. The Tremorvine Plant gets its name from its ability to feel vibrations through both its roots and mawvines. The roots are used to target prey that comes within 4 yards, after detection barbed vines spring forth from the opened maw and race towards its victim. The vines are able to feel vibration through long thing hairs that line it, as the prey runs each stomp gives away its location, the vines have incredible length and grow up to 75 feet long and 3 feet wide at its thickest point. The plant itself is only the size of a Kroxigor, to make its vines fit its thorny teeth fold in when its lips seal and its long vines are able to compress flat onto each other and act as a spring when unleashed.

    If unlucky enough to be caught up in its vines and dragged back into its maw you are either savagley chewed and beated by the thorny teeth and strong vines around you. However, if the Tremorvine Plant has eaten recently instead the trapped prey is sealed away inside the plant. Kept barely alive by life magic coursing through the plant, the victim eventually sees sunlight one more time before the thorny maw ends them.



    Key Settlements of the Northern Lustrare Valley:


    Seraphon:

    Lustrated Temple Host

    Tlacopan –

    The Capital of the Lustrated Temple Host, The Lustrare runs through it as thick jungle and dangerous swamps surround it. Its towering walls, towers and other defenses peer over these natural barriers alerting the city before any enemy can start an assault. Roosts of Terradons, Ripperdactyls and Quetzeldons rest ontop of the towers that dot the high walls, these avian beats act as scouting parties or swoop down on enemy forces if the towers Sun and Earth beams do not turn them back first.


    The mighty Temple City is the central hub for trade in the region with its large markets and ease of transport with the river. Skyscraping temples, libraries housing ancient parchments of different races, and other architectural wonders dot the city. Ranks of Saurus Warriors with a Scar Vet and Carnosaur patrol the streets, their eyes piercing as they look for any law break or sign of corruption. If one is unlucky enough to be caught breaking the law they may have to do weeks worth of manual labor for the accuser, that however is light compared to severe offenses. If severe enough of a law break or offense you may be sentenced to what is called "Purification" in which you are purified upon a sacrificial altar in the name of Tzunki.


    Taki’to –

    It’lit –

    Xlakana –

    Zaktac –

    Human:

    Huron-Lustrare Tribal Confederacy:

    Oscoda –

    Sylvaneth:

    Eversong Village –

    Arbor Vale –

    Skaven:


    Map of the Northern Lustrare River Valley:
    The Northern Lustrare River Valley, Ghyran. (Homebrew, No Grid).jpg The Northern Lustrare River Valley, Ghyran. (Homebrew, Grid).jpg
    Maps of the Western and Southern Regions of the Valley coming hopefully in the next couple of weeks :)

    Thanks for the feed back and reading this really long post!
     
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2020
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  9. Krai’kotak
    Skink

    Krai’kotak Member

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    Hum very interesting attachments brother certainly you are a talented writer maybe one day my constellation will pass near this section of the realms and I will do visit to you keep going brother your work honors the old ones
     
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  10. Sudsinabucket
    Skar-Veteran

    Sudsinabucket Well-Known Member

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    Thank you, that's very kind :)

    If you do, just beware of Nurgle in the south, Skaven to the northern and KO to the west...
     
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  11. Sudsinabucket
    Skar-Veteran

    Sudsinabucket Well-Known Member

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    Here is an updated section though WIP and not finished, I've decided to make my own constellation while Im writing all this:

    The Culchan.


    Constellation: The Culchan

    The Sanctified, the Cleansers of Chaos, Protectors of the Lustrum

    The Culchan are the defenders of nature and the balance that must be held to preserve the purity of life untainted. Their legions full of strange purified chaos creatures and gigantic long necked behemoths The Culchan are surely the wrath of nature personified. Seers and Star Priests bring the interpretation of the Great Plan to bear with no subtley as the will of the Old One Tzunki is carried out: To bring back the natural order through purification, no matter who stands in the way and whatever the cost.

    The Culchan more than any other Seraphon, and perhaps any race save the Sylvaneth, are attuned to life magic through their Old One Tzunki. During the early years of the Age of Chaos, the Slann Supreme Star Gazer Ka’Rapixca became stuck within his own mind upon discovering an ancient prophecy, the destination of his kins salvation, and new ways to fight the Eternal Enemy. Finding small spores of nurgle growing from their masters' nostrils, the council of Star Seers and Star Priests left in command of the constellation sealed Ka’Rapixca in his chambers to stop the spread when cleansing rituals failed. As the final Seer left the Slanns side the ancient mage-priest awoke, speaking before his eyes rolled back once again: “The Blood Moon and the Lustrum will cleanse all that needs cleansing, Tzunki provides as he is the master of water and tides, so as long as the water of the Lustrum flows and the Blood Moons Red gaze shimmers down, so then the Crow and Rat cannot fester in what is pure…”. Frantically the skinks began searching the stars and ancient plaques for answers, though to no avail. Months, years passed with no answers to the questions they seeked until finally a seer saw, no felt what they searched for: The Lustrum Node. With great haste the Temple Ships travelled the black of space towards the energy they felt before finding the Lustrare River Valley in Ghyran.



    Hovering over the thick jungles of the Northern Lustrare River The Culchan temple ships observed through giant lenses from an ancient time, below they saw abundance of life. Human tribal communities flourished, the Slyvaneth hunted the forests and jungles, giant sauropod behemoths waded in the deepest parts of the mighty river that emptied into a great green swamp, and plains full of great herds overtook the southern reaches. Here the Seers and Priests magics felt amplified, at that moment the Hight Star Seer Itzli-Citalli pointed to a large lake in the middle of the river; the lake swirled with dancing rays of life magic. Of all the Temple ships of the Constellation five were the first to land and become Temple cities, the rest set off for other regions or realms in search of other nodes of great power to further Tzunki’s will. Tlacopan, the largest and strongest of these temple cities placed itself around the Lustrum Node and its lake. Within Tlacopan’s largest temple locked away their mind locked Slann even after what would become to be known as the Lustrum Ritual, battled the powerful infection of Nurgle himself or forever be lost.

    IMG_20200814_155859_806.jpg
     
    Last edited: Aug 17, 2020
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  12. Sudsinabucket
    Skar-Veteran

    Sudsinabucket Well-Known Member

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    Constellation: The Culchan

    The Sanctified, the Cleansers of Chaos, Protectors of the Lustrum

    The Culchan are the defenders of nature and the balance that must be held to preserve the purity of life untainted. Their legions full of strange purified chaos creatures and gigantic long necked behemoths The Culchan are surely the wrath of nature personified. Seers and Star Priests bring the interpretation of the Great Plan to bear with no subtlety as the will of the Old One Tzunki is carried out: To bring back the natural order through purification, no matter who stands in the way and whatever the cost.

    The Culchan more than any other Seraphon, and perhaps any race besides the Sylvaneth, are attuned to life magic through their Old One Tzunki. During the early years of the Age of Chaos, the Slann Supreme Star Gazer Ka’Rapixca became stuck within his own mind upon discovering an ancient prophecy, the destination of his kins salvation, and new ways to fight the Eternal Enemy. Finding small spores of Nurgle growing from their masters' nostrils, the council of Star Seers and Star Priests, left in command of the constellation, sealed Ka’Rapixca in his chambers to stop the spread when cleansing rituals failed. As the final Seer left the Slann’s side the ancient mage-priest awoke, speaking before his eyes rolled back once again: “The Blood Moon and the Lustrum will cleanse all that needs cleansing, Tzunki provides as he is the master of water and tides, so as long as the water of the Lustrum flows and the Blood Moon’s Red gaze shimmers down, so then the Crow and Rat cannot fester in what is pure…”. Frantically the skinks began searching the stars and ancient plaques for answers, though to no avail. Months, years passed with no answers to the questions they seeked until finally a seer saw, no felt what they searched for: The Lustrum Node. With great haste the Temple Ships travelled the black of space towards the energy they felt before finding the Lustrare River Valley in Ghyran.

    Hovering over the thick jungles of the Northern Lustrare River The Culchan temple ships observed through giant lenses from an ancient time, below they saw abundance of life. Human tribal communities flourished, the Slyvaneth hunted in the forests and jungles, giant sauropod behemoths waded in the deepest parts of the mighty river that emptied into a great green swamp, and plains full of great herds overtook the southern reaches. Here the Seers and Priests magics felt amplified, at that moment the High Star Seer Itzli-Citalli pointed to a large lake in the middle of the river; the lake swirled with dancing rays of life magic. Of all the Temple ships of the Constellation five were the first to land and become Temple cities, the rest set off for other regions or realms in search of other nodes of great power to further Tzunki’s will. Tlacopan, the largest and strongest of these temple cities, placed itself around the Lustrum Node and its lake. Within Tlacopan’s largest temple locked away their mind locked Slann even after what would become to be known as the Lustrum Ritual, battled the powerful infection of Nurgle himself or forever be lost.

    The Culchan are considered outcasts by most other Seraphon, thought to have strayed from “true” interpretations of the Great Plan; however that may actually be due to how The Culchan came to be. As time went on after the fall of The-World-That-Was, a young Lord Ka’Rapixca was apart of Constellation: Koatl’s Claw and became frustrated with what he considered “slow and unnoteworthy progression against The Eternal Enemy” and also “Short Sighted interpretations and methods of the Great Plan to vanquish Chaos in all its forms and restore the natural order”. After a great vision from Tzunki, Lord Ka’Rapixca shared his vision and his new methods with his master Lord Quex. One of those methods shared was instead of slaughtering all chaos tainted monsters and beasts, to cleanse those worthy creatures and monsters and turn them against Chaos instead. Lord Quex infuriated with such an insult to his own interpretation and his own visions banished Lord Ka’Rapixca and those loyal Temple Ships. With his Standing with other Constellations Lord Quex sent emissaries telling of the “false” teachings and interpretations, tainting the word of Lord Ka’Rapixca, when he tried to defend himself in the Great Assembly of Slanns many deaf ears found him. Although not all of those assembled agreed with Lord Quex, enough however did to threaten The Culchan. This action would go on to create The Great Fued, an inner Seraphon war that still rages on between Koatl’s Claw and The Culchan well within The Age of Sigmar.

    After several human life times of war during the dawning of the Age of Chaos, Koatl’s Claw was able to turn the tide of the war against Lord Ka’Rapixca, forcing him and his remaining legions to flee or face annihilation. Able to fire a massive joined Blood Moon and Sun beam at a major temple ship of Koatl’s Claw, making possible a path to flee, The Culchan fled to the deepest reaches of space.

    Though many Temple Hosts reside within The Culchan Constellation, it is The Lustrated Temple Host that is the most dominant and the ruling Temple Host of the Constellation.

     
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2020
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  13. Imrahil
    Slann

    Imrahil Thirtheenth Spawning

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    Great work again!

    Some words of review:

    I am not sure about the role of the Lustrum Ritual in this sentence.
    Has the Slann been subjected to the Lustrum Ritual and did it had no affect on him? If so then this might be a better(more clear) way to say it:

    Within the largest temple of Tlacopan their mind locked Slann is locked away. Even after what would become to be known as the Lustrum Ritual he is battling the powerful infection of Nurgle himself or will be lost forever.

    If you like you could also change the line:
    what would become to be known as
    To
    what would later be known as
    Or
    what would now be known as

    I think it will be better to split this in two sentences:

    As time went on, after the fall of The-World-That-Was, a young Lord Ka’Rapixca was part of Constellation: Koatl’s Claw. He became frustrated with what he considered “slow and unnoteworthy progression against The Eternal Enemy” and also “Short Sighted interpretations and methods of the Great Plan: to vanquish Chaos in all its forms and restore the natural order”

    I made some alteration in the flow of the words:

    After , Lord Ka’Rapixca recieved a great vision from Tzunki and shared his vision and this and his new methods with his master, Lord Quex. One of those methods shared was instead of not to slaughtering all chaos tainted monsters and beasts, but to cleanse those worthy creatures and monsters and turn them against Chaos instead.

    You could also choose to put the 'instead' directly after 'but' and erase it from the end.
    Alternative can be to switch the methods, first tell the new method and then say 'instead of slauthering...'

    Some little changes:

    Lord Quex infuriated with such an insult to his own interpretation and his own visions banished Lord Ka’Rapixca and those the Temple Ships loyal to him.

    The start of this bit disagrees with me, I am not sure what you mean. 'whit his Standing with' in this sentence describes 'his relation to'?

    I think you are going for the saying 'to fall on deaf ears'? Or a altered Version of it?

    when he tried to defend himself in the Great Assembly of Slanns his words fell on many deaf ears him.

    Or at least

    when he tried to defend himself in the Great Assembly of Slanns he found many deaf ears him.

    Some little things:

    After several human lifetimes of war during the dawning of the Age of Chaos, Koatl’s Claw was able to turn the tide of the war against Lord Ka’Rapixca, forcing him and his remaining legions to flee or face annihilation.

    This bit needs some refrasing:

    The Temple Ships of Culchan where surrounded, but they where able to fire a massive joined Blood Moon and Sun beam at a major temple ship of Koatl’s Claw, creating making possible a path to flee. The Culchan fled to the deepest reaches of space.

    I love the lore aspect and I wish I could write Stuff like this of my own. Good work and keep it coming ;)

    Grrr, Imrahil
     
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  14. Sudsinabucket
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    Sudsinabucket Well-Known Member

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    Oh Sweet Baby Kroak! A lot in this one! Haha

    I very much appreciate the review and thoughtful edits! Will definitely be going through these.
    This exactly, so your word changes are on point
    Agreed after reviewing it!
    His Standing, like, his rank within the Constellation. I can see how thats confusing so changing to "his relation to" may be the better choice, indeed.
    This for sure, you definitely worded it better than I lol thank you

    Man, thanks so much for the second pair of eyes! Painting Netheria a bit right now but will be editing the description for The Culchan in the morning!

    I think you could write amazing lore stuff, Id read it!

    I appreciate it! Amd certainly will
     
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  15. Sudsinabucket
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    Sudsinabucket Well-Known Member

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    Hey y'all,

    About to go to bed (it's 5am here) but wanted to share the most up to date version of the whole river valley's description.

    The main things changed are about the Lustrated Temple Host as I haven't worked on the Beastiary and Herbarum as much as I would have liked.

    Hoping to work on a few more of the factions soon and in general fill it out a bit more.

    Just gonna share the google doc so yall can view, but gonna keep it no commenting for now so we can keep the convo here :)

    Hope you all are doing well and I hope you enjoy the progress :)

    I am currently Kitbashing a new edition to the Beastiary, a type of giant turtle of sorts!

    https://drive.google.com/file/d/1f7Bmie8YSsFItccWIVQSC4gytYxY4w52/view?usp=drivesdk
     
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  16. Sudsinabucket
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    Sudsinabucket Well-Known Member

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    The new large forest/river dwelling turtle dragon, still need an official name for it, but yeah :)

    Its goofy but I love it

    20200824_214211.jpg 20200824_214143.jpg 20200824_214159.jpg
     
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  17. Imrahil
    Slann

    Imrahil Thirtheenth Spawning

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    Very twisted creation! Meant as a compliment ;)

    I already took notice on FB of his birth.
    Very much interested in his story.

    Keep up the good work.

    Grrr, Imrahil
     
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  18. Sudsinabucket
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    Sudsinabucket Well-Known Member

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    I totally get it haha

    Sometimes I feel like I'm the Clan Moulder of Seraphon/Lizardmen

    Busy thinking up a beastiary description for him!
     
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