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Contest Winter Solstice 2019 Poetry Contest Voting and Reading Thread

Discussion in 'Fluff and Stories' started by Scalenex, Dec 22, 2019.

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Which poem or poems do you like best? (You may vote for up to four)

Poll closed Jan 12, 2020.
  1. Poem 1: "Bloody Order"

    5 vote(s)
    35.7%
  2. Poem 2: "Seasons"

    4 vote(s)
    28.6%
  3. Poem 3: "The Introspective Dread Saurian"

    2 vote(s)
    14.3%
  4. Poem 4: "The Saurian"

    3 vote(s)
    21.4%
  5. Poem 5: "They Came Upon a Midnight Clear"

    7 vote(s)
    50.0%
  6. Poem 6: "The First Return"

    7 vote(s)
    50.0%
  7. Poem 7 "Chameleon Skink"

    6 vote(s)
    42.9%
  8. Poem 8: ""Skaven Beware"

    5 vote(s)
    35.7%
  9. Poem 9: "They Come in Force. Chaos Marches Once Again"

    3 vote(s)
    21.4%
  10. Poem 10: "The Lonely Darkness"

    2 vote(s)
    14.3%
  11. Poem 11: "Animals and Machines"

    6 vote(s)
    42.9%
  12. Poem 12: "Wonder of a New World"

    1 vote(s)
    7.1%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. Scalenex
    Slann

    Scalenex Keeper of the Indexes Staff Member

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    "Bloody Order"

    Everything comes to Order.
    The forrest is a place of natural chaos.
    Skaven and Warmbloods at the border.
    The battle begins with a sudden dropping of rocks.

    Blood flows freely, blades meeting flesh
    Scales break, bones break. Chaos melts.
    Skinks forego Javelins, all out, cannot refresh.
    There's going to be a new collection of Skaven Pelts.

    The battle's over, the dead are counted
    We return our dead to the water, the enemies to the beasts.
    A reminder, to any who had doubted.
    The Lizardmen will remain, we are the ones who Feast.

    "SEASONS"

    The gentle Spring, the seeds open to a promise of greatness.

    And so do we, spawned by the Old Ones.

    The warm Summer, strong and many grow the branches of Lustria.

    And so do we, blessed by the Old Ones.

    The melancholic Autumn, fall the leaves blown by first cold winds.

    And so do we, in the wars of the Old Ones.

    The harsh winter, it freezes the ground and life sleeps away.

    And so do we, in the dreams of the Old Ones.

    Until Spring will come again.

    “The Introspective Dread Saurian”

    Cold Ones and Carnosaurs journeyed forth with joyful maw,
    Carrying gifts towards a certain one’s jaw.

    Yeah, a certain someone’s birthday was underway,
    Waking muscles stirring away.

    His senses aflame,
    Mind a-tamed.

    Indeed, this Dread Saurian heard his query,
    Feeling the air’s frantic delivery.

    And yet, his eyes turned sky-ward,
    Thoughts burned in-ward.

    Memories vividly playing,
    Emotions laying out.

    Crack, crack, tumble, tumble, CRASH

    Yeah, ten-thousand years upon thousands more he has lived
    Seen all the jungle had to throw upon him,
    Rainy weekends too!
    Though boredom did fall like the rain,
    Relentlessly pelting upon his scales,
    Not the freedom of a young’un,
    Nor the fun
    Hal was but only a weakling,
    Yet the excitement of a Fly,
    Flying out her freedoms and fun,
    Annoying all but herself

    Snap, Snap, CRASH

    His bulk mightier than mountains,
    Trees trembling on count,
    Endless strength abound,
    Yet he was as free as a cloud!?

    Though the jungle remains steadfast,
    His mind mingles with a blast,
    So many distant worlds
    Only one ancient mind

    Therein, perhaps, lies his own fun.

    Crash, crash, TUMBLE

    At least, it was only his hope they bring a XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXL Talisaurus pizza instead of cake for the two-hundredth-tenth time.

    "The Saurian"

    Below me black open space, stars ablaze.
    I look at these walls around me, longing for a jungle's gentle breeze.
    The sunlight pierces onto my scales, but lacking in the warmth of open air.
    The price of this loss in battle stole my world,
    A world I long for.
    The hunts, the battles, the grand Temple Cities, lost.

    The darkness stole it away, the never ending foe. Like Dusk is to Dawn we battled, ever rising again even in defeat.
    The Everchosen marches, darkness becomes black, the soul of a world broken under his foot.
    The soliders of light beginning to dim, to the stars we look.
    In the stars new worlds, new hope, new light shown bright.

    Stars become our weapons, suns our energy.
    The darkness crumbles, the darkness prepares, but like the moon, we come full circle.
    Fangs, Claws and Star Weapons we clash with the darkness, the light never fading

    "They Came Upon a Midnight Clear"

    They came upon a midnight clear
    Plague they brought and also fear
    In Quetza started a rumbling
    The city trembled by their tunneling

    Rat-men did from the ground arise.
    A countermeasure came, by Slann’s advice
    This was foreseen in the plaques of Chaqua
    So a plan was forged to save Quetza.

    Tehenhauin stormed the hordes of filthy rat
    With a force, of which in strength, it met.
    Calling on the name of Sotek
    Offering rats in a massive bloodshed.

    Forth came the Serpent God to aid
    His followers. Many rats he slayed
    Pursuing them until the last he will wreck
    “Praised be the name of Sotek”

    -Red-crested skink bard-

    "The First Return"
    ############

    The spear and javelin that pierce
    The claw and tooth the enemy fears
    The magic flames that make them burn
    They come at them
    The First return.

    The clubs and hammers, the metal glove
    The rocks and meteors hit from above
    The bolts are hurled from between the fern
    There's no escape
    The First return

    The shield protects, but also smashes
    The flames turn enemies to ashes
    The tides of battle start to turn
    Order prevails
    The First return

    The minds that guide the force to war
    What Chaos destroyed they will restore
    The peace for which the Realms do yearn
    It is in reach
    The First return

    "Chameleon Skink"


    Green

    Leaves and creeping vines

    Rustling branches, filtered light


    Yellow

    The glowing cities, rimmed with gold

    The shining sun, growing old


    Blue

    Hard stone and running river

    Dark sky and distant mountains tinged with silver


    Red

    The high up voices and battle cries

    Feathers and scales and blood and eagle eyes


    Flickering


    Twitching


    Scales ever changing


    He crawls under leaves and brush

    Whisper, rustle, hiss and hush


    Scales ever changing

    Flickering - wavering


    Into the background, colours fade

    The chameleon watches, drifting away

    "Skaven Beware"

    Run away you skaven blight.
    Or be prepared for a fight.

    Send your troops behind our flank.
    And we will just close our rank.

    Ratling Gunners shoot all around.
    But Terradons shoot them without a sound.

    Rat Ogres charge through the trees.
    But our Kroxigors bring them to their knees.

    Gutter Runners sneak behind.
    But our Chameleons could find them blind.

    Our priests pray to the Old Ones.
    Who in turn bless the Cold Ones.

    The Bastiladon fires a fateful blast.
    That has killed many Skaven in the past.

    A Stegadon rears up in it's rage.
    And the Skaven dead are too high to fit on a page.

    They come in force. Chaos Marches Once Again:


    A low hazy jungle mist blanketed the darkness

    Every passing minute, every second counts. The Slann left with one option.​

    A cool chill hanging in the crisp dusk air.

    To call to ancient beyond power, the Old One’s wraith incarnate, Tepoks guardian. The coatl.​

    The beat of warhorses’ hooves shaking the darkness


    “Why do you wake me, Why do you come, Young one.”
    The snarl of the horse’s nostrils breathing out the fury of their riders

    “I Smell Your fear” “The Slann Do not fear. I am immortal.”

    The Fog pierced by Chaos’s Chosen, Pierced by the cries of their mighty beasts.

    “To not fear is foolish. To not fear me is foolish.”​

    Torn asunder and left behind like the memories of their former identities

    “For I am the Old Ones fury, I AM THE JUNGLES WRAITH.”​

    Now warped and twisted, now puppets to the ruinous powers

    “Why do you seek my Authority? Why do you seek my counsel? Child."​

    Fury beyond reckoning, Temple cities left in devastation armies slain in their wake

    “They come with Fury Beyond Reckoning, Our Temple cities left in devastation armies slain in their wake.”
    Leaving the jungle ablaze with dancing flames of fury


    “Leaving the jungle ablaze with dancing flames of fury, Our jungle, The Old Ones jungle.
    They Come in force. Chaos Marches Once Again


    "They Come in force. Chaos Marches Once Again."
    They Come in force. Chaos Marches Once Again.

    [​IMG]

    "The Lonely Darkness"


    Freezing gusts of air blew,
    Harsh and fierce,
    Scales shaking; fear so anew,
    Trembling commenced.

    Miku the Cold One rested,
    The cave her own barrier,
    The elements a mere dream,
    And yet the harrowing breezes...

    They whipped and cried throughout,
    Thoughts waning and intensifying,
    Feelings burning the flare of fire,
    The darkness enshrouding her still.

    Woe had traveled with words spoken,
    Her only sister taken,
    Taken to some distant lands far away,
    Freedom carrying Hal along.

    And Miku laid in cave entrapped,
    Pondering the costs of it all:
    Free and wild like the breezes?
    Slapping upon scales with pain?

    For adventure and freedom bears a price,
    Many dangers none can suffice,
    Responsibilities pouring without care,
    Spilled were Miku’s worries.

    She wept for Hal and the future,
    Desired memories from the past,
    Darkness embracing in a nurture,
    Harsher were the cold winds still.

    "Animals and Machines"


    Cogs and wheels, ever turning

    Steam and smoke, the fires ever burning

    Joint by joint, limb by limb

    The beast awakens, the monster lives


    Built and lead, moving forwards

    Towards a goal, with a purpose

    Joint by joint, step by step

    The beast awakens, the monster lives


    Hardened edges, sharpened claws

    Blazing eyes and rigid jaw

    Joint by joint, empty head

    The beast awakens, the monster lives


    Slashing blades, bodies fall

    Bearing teeth, the battle call

    Joint by joint, kill by kill

    The beast awakens, the monster lives


    Cogs and wheels, tugging onward

    Powered eternally, pushing forwards

    living , breathing, monster - beast

    Raging animal and cold machine

    "The Wonder of a New World"

    Startled was the young Hal

    Uttered freely among all:

    ‘This is the Old World’

    “Mahrlect!”


    Forth taken from her home

    Lost, begging for all dear

    Flying away, the warmth inside

    She was a Cold One afterall.


    Though free from captivity

    Her fears still strangle

    Yet, she marveled on high

    Beauty embraced o’er her.


    Indeed, did trees’ leaves fly

    Drifting, dancing through air

    On her, much thinking settled:

    "These are such amazing children!”


    The leaves, now crinkled and aged

    Young blows of turbulent gusts

    Up, up, and away off they were

    Children dancing farewells mid-air.


    Such splendor made Hal the Cold One shout:

    “The wonder of a new world!”


    We have twelve lovely poems! That is a lot of poems but none of them are super long, so take your time. I recommend you read them slowly, perhaps several times, maybe once out loud before voting. Voting will remain open for three weeks.

    Discussion and constructive criticism is encouraged! So are smart remarks, within reason.

    Three poems were given to me untitled. I made up titles. If the original author doesn't like the title I picked, send me a message what you want it to be instead.

    If there are any other typos or anything you want me to fix or change, send me a private message and I will fix it ASAP.
     
    Last edited: Jan 6, 2020
  2. Scalenex
    Slann

    Scalenex Keeper of the Indexes Staff Member

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    Last minute voted pushed our four way tie to a two-way tie between “They Came Upon a Midnight Clear” by Imrahil and "The First Return" by Aginor


    Poem 1, “Order” by @Sevesh

    Poem 2, “Seasons” by @Killer Angel

    Poem 3, “The Introspective Dread Saurian” by @Paradoxical Pacifism

    Poem 4, “The Saurian” by @Sudsinabucket

    Poem 5, “They Came Upon a Midnight Clear” by @Imrahil

    Poem 6, “The First Return” by @Aginor

    Poem 7, “Chameleon Skink” by @Infinity Turtle

    Poem 8, "Skaven Beware" by @DeathBringer125

    Poem 9, “They Come in Force, Chaos Marches Again.” by @Nazqua

    Poem 10 “The Lonely Darkness” by @Paradoxical Pacifism

    Poem 11 “Animals and Machines” by @Infinity Turtle

    Poem 12, “Wonder of a New World” by @Paradoxical Pacifism
     
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2020
  3. Scalenex
    Slann

    Scalenex Keeper of the Indexes Staff Member

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    I initially shortchanged poem 6 due to a formatting error caused by my own human error, but it should be fixed now.
     
  4. Imrahil
    Skink Chief

    Imrahil Well-Known Member

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    After votibg I saw that there was the opportunity to vote up to four poems :facepalm:

    But I don't see a revote button, so Sorry for the just one vote. Motivation will follow later.

    Gr, Imrahil
     
  5. Scalenex
    Slann

    Scalenex Keeper of the Indexes Staff Member

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    I have temporarily enabled re-voting since you are fairly new to our institution of contests.

    For every contest that has my undead fingerprints on it, for every 3 entries, rounded down, voters may vote once. So 12 entries means 4 votes. I thought we might have 13 entries (but one message I thought was a poem at first glance was a question about a previous poem submission), if we did that would still be 4 votes.

    Fun fact, the Skaven centered poem was almost entry 13 via my randomizer.
     
  6. Imrahil
    Skink Chief

    Imrahil Well-Known Member

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    Thanks, I voted again.
    Reviews will follow in due time

    Gr, Imrahil
     
    Scalenex, Sevesh and Nazqua like this.
  7. Killer Angel
    Slann

    Killer Angel Prophet of the Stars Staff Member

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    a quick reading already revealed some interesting poem.
    Now, it comes the time to read them all carefully, taking the due time. I cannot hasten my decision, with poetry you must read and re-read them slowly, you need to see the meanings behind the words and to "enter" the rhythm of the poem, each one got its own.
     
  8. Aginor
    Slann

    Aginor Fifth Spawning Staff Member

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    I have three favorites so far.
    Gotta think about it some more.
     
  9. Aginor
    Slann

    Aginor Fifth Spawning Staff Member

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    Voted.
    I won't write reviews though as I am not qualified to really judge poetry.
     
    Nazqua, Scalenex and Infinity Turtle like this.
  10. Infinity Turtle
    Chameleon Skink

    Infinity Turtle Well-Known Member

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    Looking forward to reading all of these! Considering the medium, a big "well done" to all who entered, whether new to or well versed in poetry. :)
     
  11. Scalenex
    Slann

    Scalenex Keeper of the Indexes Staff Member

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    Mahrlect! I wrote short reviews for the poems and then lost my reviews. The ONE time I don't write my reviews in Microsoft Word I somehow didn't post.

    Stand by for me trying to recreate the reviews...
     
    Imrahil, Aginor, Nazqua and 2 others like this.
  12. Sudsinabucket
    Stegadon

    Sudsinabucket Well-Known Member

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    Hate when that happens, ugh. Sorry man!
     
    Nazqua and Paradoxical Pacifism like this.
  13. Killer Angel
    Slann

    Killer Angel Prophet of the Stars Staff Member

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    i feel your pain… :(
     
  14. Scalenex
    Slann

    Scalenex Keeper of the Indexes Staff Member

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    Okay first the disclaimer. I am not a poetry expert. I like all the poems here. I tend to like poems more if I can easily pull a rhythm off of it. Note, I am musically tested as a child long ago and I am rhythmically challenged. When I played the Mario RPG as a young adult, I could not beat the Yoster Isle side quest which depended on rhythm. Just because I cannot find the rhythm doesn't mean it's not there, but if I can find the rhythm, I assume the poet is a genius.

    Beyond rhythm, the second thing that makes me like a poem extra, is if it pulls on my feels.


    Poem 1, “Bloody Order”: Nice structure and well told story elegant in it's simplicity. Good rhyme scheme.

    Reading it out loud I couldn't fall into a natural rhythm pattern.


    Poem 2, “Seasons”: I don't know if the poet read this thread I wrote long ago, but I'm pleased someone is trying to tackle the First's spiritual relationship with the seasons. It doesn't rhyme or have an obvious rhythm but the poetic chorus provides structure and purpose to this poem.

    My small misgiving is that the seasons feel a bit too human. It feels like a deciduous forest and not a tropical forest, not that I myself have any idea how to relay tropical seasons...


    Poem 3, “The Introspective Dread Saurian”: One of the funnier pieces. Birthdays for a near immortal creature, supposedly one that is not even sapient. Hilarious. Beyond the brilliant premise it had decent rhyme scheme and a recognizable rhythm.

    The last line, while funny, did not fit the structure and format of the poem that preceded it. Minor misgiving, but it threw me out of the narrative. Another minor misgiving. I'm not sure I fully grasp your fly simile.



    Poem 4, "The Saurian": I'm pretty sure this poem is about the transition from Lizardmen to Seraphon and that is something screams poetic poetic potential. Decent structure, rhythm, and rhyme. Evocative word choices. Well done.

    The title is weird and mildly confusing making me doubt my interpretations. I think it's about the transition from Lizardmen to Seraphon but the title is "The Saurian." Isn't that a 9th age thing?


    Poem 5, “They Came Upon a Midnight Clear”: Given when the contest was, I'm surprised more people didn't use Christmas carols. This was clever, funny, and had a good rhyme scheme.

    Taken on it's own, it has an okay rhythm, but when I tried to sing it out loud to the tune of "It Came Upon a Midnight Clear" it was very bumpy. The syllable count was way off the original stanzas of the parodied song. When I write a parody song, with my musical handicap I pretty much have to match the syllable count exactly.


    Poem 6, “The First Return": This poem is my favorite, the one vote I didn't have to think very hard about. Great structure, rhyme, evocative word choice, and an easy rhythm.


    Poem 7, “Chameleon Skink”:
    Excellent structure and rhythm. Evocative word choice. It captures the spirit of a Chameleon well.

    This is a very minor misgiving. When I read this outloud, the "Red" stanza was just a little clunky and wordy compared to the others.


    Poem 8, "Skaven Beware": Simple but effective structure. Good rhythm and rhyme. Dead Skaven. Who can ask for more?

    The rhythm is good, but not perfect. Reading it out loud, there are small bumpy patches.


    Poem 9, “They Come in Force, Chaos Marches Again.”: Of all the poems in this contest, this piece had the most inventive structure. I liked that the poem used the structure of a dialogue between enemies and I liked the emerging story.

    Two lines give me pause, First: “For I am the Old Ones fury, I AM THE JUNGLES WRAITH.” I do not know if the poet meant "Wrath" or "Wraith." For a Slann, either is valid.

    Second: “I Smell Your fear” “The Slann Do not fear. I am immortal.” This broke the structure. As far as I can tell. Every other stanza was Person A/Person B Person A/Person B Person A/Person B, but this stanza switched the point of view character in the same line. For a orderly stickler like me, that bugs me.


    Poem 10 “The Lonely Darkness”: A nice grimdark moody poem. Good job at putting the "cold" in Cold One, both literally and figuratively. Good rhythm and rhyme.

    The poem ends opened ended with no real resolution. Some poems are like that. It's a valid artistic choice but not my cup of tea.


    Poem 11 “Animals and Machines”: Excellent structure, easy rhythm, decent rhyme scheme, evocative word choices.

    My only minor misgiving is mild confusion. Are the Lizardmen fighting hostile machines sent by an outside power or is the poem covering the dichotomy of Lizardmen: Bestial savagery combined with a near robotic sense of duty. I hope it's the former but I don't know.


    Poem 12, “Wonder of a New World”: Who knew Cold Ones had such deep spiritual depths?

    [​IMG]
    It turns out when a Cold Ones fails a Stupidity check, they aren't really stupid, they are just concentrating on deeper issues than the battle around them. They are the Slann of the animal kingdom!

    This poem had an emotional evocative free form structure. I didn't find any rhythm.
     
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2020
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  15. Infinity Turtle
    Chameleon Skink

    Infinity Turtle Well-Known Member

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    They're based on the oxygen/mosquito ratio in the atmosphere

    My goodness. I'm glad I live on the other side of the world and was saved from witnessing this. Or perhaps I'm curious as to how this played out. You always were a lizard of many talents.
     
  16. DeathBringer125
    Carnasaur

    DeathBringer125 Well-Known Member

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    I personally think that the next competition we have should only have like 2 votes. The four votes seemed kind of odd. Since I felt like my last two votes were just sort of placed somewhere
     
  17. Sudsinabucket
    Stegadon

    Sudsinabucket Well-Known Member

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    I think it really depends on how many people enter, just as a general outlook on it
     
  18. Scalenex
    Slann

    Scalenex Keeper of the Indexes Staff Member

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    No one is obligated to use all their votes. I've polled this and straw polled this in the past. Most fluff forum regulars seem to like the one vote per three entries thing we have going.

    If popular opinion changes, I can change the rules in the future.
     
  19. DeathBringer125
    Carnasaur

    DeathBringer125 Well-Known Member

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    Yeah lol it just bugs me when the top 3 stories are all tied and such lol
     
  20. Killer Angel
    Slann

    Killer Angel Prophet of the Stars Staff Member

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    Yeah, ATM there is a massive tie, with 4 leading poems...
     

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